Chapter 757 Missing you

"Xiao Nan, are you... afraid that I will leave without saying goodbye like I did five years ago?"

My whole body trembles...

Since we had sex that night, Zi Yuan and I were close and separated, but it was not as casual and intimate as she had just arrived in Fengchang. We were all consciously and carefully maintaining a balance without testing the things that each other hides in our hearts. Maybe it was a tacit understanding. Maybe, we didn't have the courage and were worried that each other would not have the courage to break such a balance. It was like a thin layer of gauze hanging between the two of them. I looked at her and she looked at me. Although I couldn't see clearly, I knew that the other party was there. This was very safe. We didn't dare to touch the gauze because we were all afraid that the haze behind the gauze was just a phantom...

That layer of yarn is honest...

"Yes," I said, "I'm afraid."

"Do you think you should be responsible to me?" Zi Yuan really cared about this.

I don't deny that this is a very important reason for me, who has the old-fashioned concept of family inheritance, but...

"Time will not go back, and what you miss will not come back. You left five years ago, and what you left me is regret. If you let you leave five years later, what you leave me is not just a lifetime of regret..."

This is not a confession, but it is no different from a confession. Zi Yuan was very calm, as if she knew her position in my heart better than me. She said softly: "Xiao Nan, I believe there will be no other person in the world who knows you better than me, so I believe that part of your heart belongs to me, but what about Cheng Liusu?"

"I don't know..." I am a shameless and overestimated person. I am fickle, but I don't have the capital to be fickle. I don't have the high-end villa of fragrant car money. I don't have sweet words and sensual words and oil. I don't even have a word to make Zi Yuan happy. Of course, if there is, it must be a lie against my conscience. I smiled bitterly: "I also feel that I am too selfish. I don't want to miss what I missed before, and I don't want to lose what I have now, but in the face of temptation, I still don't have enough resistance... I can restrain my desires, but I haven't found a balance between you. If I choose to leave, I choose happiness. I am half-hearted and can just cut a knife in my heart, but I don't know, I don't know what your happiness is, because you haven't said it, and you always say it, the time has not come yet..."

Zi Yuan still didn't answer me what her happiness was, but she answered me without hesitation: "If you don't let me go, I won't leave."

Yes, it's very straightforward. Just like a person who dares to do something wrong and takes on any responsibility, I want to compensate her, not because I think I should pay the price for that night of love, but more because I want to make up for the guilt I have for those five years. While she was thinking about me and thinking about me, I tried my best to forget her. Now, this girl who should hate me always has ten or even twelve points of self-blame and guilt towards me. How can I bear it?

"You have said this before."

"Don't you believe it?"

I shook my head, "What's it like not to leave? I'm wandering outside my life like now, afraid that I will enter your life? I'm not qualified to ask you to get closer to me, but I know that the so-called 'not leaving' that cannot be close to each other now is definitely not what you or I want."

Zi Yuan did not deny it, turned her head and murmured, "Get close to you, your life will be disrupted by me... Xiaonan, I can be yours, but you are not mine. You think this is your selfishness, but I chose it myself. Being a bad woman has used all my courage. You know how cowardly I am, so I am not suitable to be bad for the rest of my life."

"I don't understand..."

"It's okay, you will understand sooner or later," Zi Yuan looked at me and said, "Don't be afraid of hurting me, because you hurt more than me, don't be afraid of me leaving, unless you chase me away, don't be afraid of grievances me, because I never want to be a bad woman again, and something wrong is enough for me to spend my whole life repentance. Do you still remember? From childhood to adulthood, the right to choose will always be on your side, and it's still like those times. I just need to stand silently behind you..."

Zi Yuan's words made me feel very uncomfortable, "It feels like your promise is just to atone for sins... um--"

My buddy widened her eyes and couldn't believe what was happening in front of me - Zi Yuan suddenly rushed over and kissed my lips. There was tears in her eyes, and the crystal clearness was anger that was unconcealed.

"In five years, who do you think I think the most in these five years? It's you! What do you think the most in five years? Or you! Because there is almost every thing in my memory, there is almost the shadow of you! So I finally know why I haven't felt a little happiness in these five years, because there is no you by my side in these five years!" Zi Yuan hugged my waist tightly, buried her face in my chest, and cried, "Atonement? No! I'm continuing to commit sin! I don't want to go back to life without you, but I'm afraid that my willfulness will bother you! Because there is no place around you!"

For five years, because of Chu Yuan's resentment, I tried my best to forget everything about Ziyuan, forget the regrets, sadness, regrets, and annoyance. Because of the tassel, my wounds slowly heal. In my expectation for tomorrow, five years flowed quietly in the blooming and falling flowers. But these five years have been so painful for Ziyuan, so painful that she doesn't want to look back...

"How have you been in these five years..." This is a greeting that came late. It was originally the first sentence of the reunion, but now I am asking, and it seems that I am so idiotic.

Zi Yuan bit my shoulder hard, as if she even had the strength to eat. I held back the pain and let her release and vent her - this was her answer.

Zi Yuan didn't say a word in the end, but just condensed the pain in her heart into one thousandth or one ten thousandth, leaving it on my shoulders. Perhaps this was part of the agreement she made with the third lady - she would not answer any questions I had before the so-called time came.

Zi Yuan, who wiped away her tears, raised her face full of grievances, and asked in a soft voice with concern but no guilt, "Does it hurt?"

It hurts, it hurts heart-wrenchingly...

I shook my head and smiled, "Shoulder doesn't hurt."

Zi Yuan didn't believe it because I was wearing very thin clothes. In order to facilitate work, I threw my coat in the office of the comprehensive team. The thin fabric of the shirt blocked her two rows of hard white teeth. When I tilted my head, I saw that my shoulders were soaked with saliva slowly dyed a faint red color. It was bitten by her...

Zi Yuan was startled and said quickly: "Bleeding! Hurry up, let me see!"

"fine..."

"I'm still saying it's okay? The clothes are red!" Zi Yuan said without saying a word and came to unbutton the buttons on my shirt. If she saw her feeling distressed and panicked at this moment, who would believe that she bit my shoulder?

"Eh?" Zi Yuan, who took out his handkerchief, lifted up my collar, and was about to wipe the two rows of tooth marks on his arms, was stunned and his movements stopped.

"What's wrong?" I looked at Zi Yuan staring at my neck with curiosity.

Zi Yuan frowned and looked at me, her expression was a little complicated, then she became indifferent, and finally said lightly, "Nothing."

After saying that, he turned around and left.

I almost didn't react and called Zi Yuan who had already walked to the outside room, "Hey, don't you stop the bleeding from me?"

After hearing this, Zi Yuan turned back. Before her brother could sigh, the girl had already stuffed her handkerchief into my hand, and then coldly squeezed out three words from her teeth, "I, myself, wipe it."

I shook me contemptuously, and never looked back. I left the bathroom angrily, leaving me who was chasing to the outside room with a confused look on my face. This girl's mood changes too quickly and too uncontrollable, right? Look at the footsteps, her ankle has not healed yet, don't sprain again...

Zi Yuan is not a person who can easily lose her temper, but she is obviously angry now, but where did I offend her? My buddy was puzzled, her shoulders were so hot that I grinned. The mirror outside was polished shiny, and she took off her collar and exposed her shoulders and looked at it... My buddy was stunned.

It’s not because I saw the tooth marks were very deep, but because I saw another thing printed on my neck - the color has not faded yet, it is still clearly visible, with bright and dazzling kiss marks...
Chapter completed!