A dull sky, a silent world.

The seemingly bustling and lively city is colder than the snow in winter. There is no temperature. The snow is just a short-term cold, while the city is an endless cold current, making people unable to feel a trace of warmth.

"Go back...or don't go back?"

A thin young man sighed through the window, looking at the heavy snow.

His name is Bai Lan, he is 24 years old this year, he looks ordinary, the kind that will be submerged immediately if thrown into the crowd.

Bai Lan looked very dead and silent, without any anger on her body. She was still alive, but she felt like an old man who was about to die.

However, Bai Lan did not say that she had no characteristics. The one who had outstanding features might be his eyes. Although she seemed lifeless, those eyes were indeed very clear and bright.

There are no impurities or dirt in these eyes, just like the ignorant and innocent eyes of a newborn baby.

This shows that Bai Lan has a innocent heart. In this era of economic interests, it is rare for someone to retain such a innocent heart.

However, because of this innocent heart, Bai Lan's future seems dull. He does not like intrigues in society, nor does he like to be humble in interpersonal relationships.

Because he doesn't like it, he cannot integrate into this society and cannot go with the flow. He looks very lonely like a person abandoned by this world. No one can understand him, including his family.

He is very tired, and his heart is even more tired. The things he insists on are worthless in the eyes of others, not recognized by his family, nor recognized by society. It seems that only by entering that sludge and falling with the world can there be a new future.

Many people call what Bai Lan insists on as a noble person, but in fact, those people are in a mud ball and cannot tolerate others on the shore.

There is a very distorted truth in this world. When things that most people agree with are wrong, they are still right. If you cannot integrate into them, you will be rejected and divided into aliens.

What is an alien means abnormal people. Even if you are normal and your thinking is different from most people, it is also pathological in the eyes of others. Over time, you will also develop heart disease.

When people still have hope for this world, then this person is considered to be alive. Like Bai Lan, his world is only gray, and there is no other color, and he is only half dead.

It is the end of the year again and we are about to go home, but Bai Lan can't feel much warmth for this home, and the only warmth is his grandmother.

He was afraid to go back because every year he went back, some were just quarrels, some were just disapproving, and some were just forced to get married.

"Mom and Dad, why can't you encourage me and recognize me? As long as you recognize me, even if the world abandons me, I will be happy and happy, and I have the motivation to persevere."

Bai Lan smiled bitterly.

Since graduating from college, Gao Xing and smile have been away from Bai Lan. He has been unaware of what Gao Xing is for three years. Perhaps he will never be happy in this world.

Although he believed that the world would get better and better, he could not deny that he really could not integrate into this society. For this society, he was redundant.

Most of the men of this era are slaves of money and have been struggling for money all their lives. In their opinion, if there is money, there is everything, but if there is really money, the things that I originally yearn for have changed their quality.

Love is no longer pure love, life is no longer pure life, it seems that money has replaced all the value barriers of people.

Bai Lan thought about it, and suddenly felt a darkness in front of her eyes, and her head was stuck like a machine was stuck.

A month ago, Bai Lan was diagnosed with severe depression in the hospital, so he told him not to think about some bad things and relax his mind. Depression is difficult to treat, and major depression is almost no different from terminal illness.

Depression can lead to long-term mental tension and depression, and the final result is either suicide or exhaustion, leading to death.

During this period, as long as Bai Lan thinks about some gray things, he will have symptoms of short circuit in consciousness and dark eyes, and he seems to have been mentally prepared in his heart.

Bai Lan walked to the bed and lay down. He was in a bad state, his breathing became more and more rapid. The world in front of him was always alternating black and white, like a candle that was about to be extinguished.

"Is the deadline coming? It seems that God is going to take me away."

Bai Lan thought with his eyes closed, he was not afraid at all. For this world, he was already dead.

Bai Lan took out her cell phone from her body with difficulty, and made a skillful call with her eyes closed, and the phone was quickly connected.

"Dad, I may have to escape once, be willful once. You should educate that boy Baiyang well. Don't let him develop my temperament like this. I'm already helpless, but he can still be crafted. I don't ask you to recognize me. I don't care. You always say that men should be responsible, but what I want to tell you is that men who live in this era are really tired. They can't sit still if they want to do anything, and they have to do what they don't want to do."

Bai Lan was very powerful and said his psychological words.

It was just that the sudden power he had produced was just a reflection of his life. After saying the last sentence in his heart, Bai Lan calmed down again. Her whole body seemed to have been exhausted. Death had come, but this death was just a relief for Bai Lan.

With his mentality over the past few years, not committing suicide was the only thing he could do. He spent every day in endless torture, and his own thoughts and external thoughts were constantly fighting, but in the end his original intention defeated external thoughts.

The darkness quickly eroded Bai Lan's body, and memories of more than 20 years have been passing through my mind. Many memories are long forgotten. Unexpectedly, the last moment of life flashed out again.

"Haha, maybe... I've also been happy, but... I can't go back anymore. My ideal is freedom, and death may also be a kind of freedom. Since I can't fulfill my ideal in this world, I hope that I can realize this ideal in the next life...."

After saying this last sentence in his heart, Bai Lan became completely quiet.

Without breathing and no physical ups and downs, he made a prayer gesture with his hands, as if he had made a prayer to heaven at the moment of death.

There was a cell phone next to him that was not hung up, and there was an anxious voice inside, shouting constantly, but Bai Lan could no longer hear it.

A suicide note had been written on the desk, which Bai Lan prepared in advance. He didn't know that he would not be able to get through that day, so he wrote it in advance and placed it on the table.

But the contents of this suicide note are not for someone or for family members, but for the world, which says.

I believe that people in the dark also yearn for a world of light.

I believe that a world of despair will also have a light of hope.

I believe that those who are in the mud also yearn for returning to the shore.

I believe that the world will be fair, and I also believe that small people will have a day to turn things around.

This world may not be as cold-blooded and ruthless as I imagined, but it is not the world I want to see.

I am not the one who was abandoned by this world, but I chose to be abandoned. I don’t blame anyone or resent this world. The moment you make your choice, the ending is already destined.

I hope the sky in the future will be blue, and I also hope that the world will be more sincere and less intrigue.

I hope tomorrow is better, I failed, so I chose to escape. My escape may hurt many people, but if I don’t escape, I will hurt more people.

Everyone has their own choices, and everyone is responsible for their own choices. The more people get, the more they pay.

I am just an inconspicuous drop of water, an alternative drop of water in the vast sea of ​​people. I cannot blend into the rivers and seas, and I will sooner or later be evaporated.

Goodbye, this world that I have been happy and sad. I look forward to a better world tomorrow, but I can’t wait for that day.

This is the full text of Bai Lan's suicide note. Although he is very disappointed with the world, he has hope for it.
Chapter completed!