Today I am thirty years old.

As usual, I write an essay every year on my birthday. As of this morning, I still have no idea what to write on my birthday. It’s not that I don’t have anything to write, but there is really too much to write. Not long ago, I told someone

, when people look at themselves at the age of ten, you are the self at the age of ten. When you look at yourself at the age of twenty, you are the self at the age of twenty. When you are thirty, look at yourself again, and you will find that the ten-year-old self is

My twenty-year-old self and my thirty-year-old self all stand together. They have left so many traces that they are inseparable.

Then, I have thirty years of things to write about.

In the past, I tried to write something light-hearted, or pragmatic, and not difficult to understand, but then I thought about it, at the beginning of today, I would write something metaphysical, fake and empty.

Let’s talk about the three concepts. When combined, it may be the majority of me. During this period, there were some weird and secondary things. If you read on, you will understand the reasons.

One:

At the end of 2014, I went to Beijing Lu Xun Institute of Literature for two months to study. One of the classes was given by Professor Dai Jinhua from Peking University. During the period, Professor Dai Jinhua mentioned a concept. She said that in the process of the origin of writing,

Here, Chinese characters are ideographic, while European characters are phonological. This is the difference between the two.

Teacher Dai Jinhua is not studying language at Peking University. She is studying film, mass media and other directions. She mentioned this concept probably because the content was slightly touched upon and she just talked about it casually. I have also heard about this concept before. After the lecture,

, as usual, there was a question time. When I first arrived at Luyuan, I raised my hand to ask a question. The question was probably: the basic meaning of the existence of words is to convey thoughts, that is, to materialize the invisible thoughts in the mind and pass them on to others so that others can receive them.

In "The Three-Body Problem" and many science fiction works, we have also described a group like the ant family in which the entire group is ruled by a mother body, and believe that this is a way for biological evolution to reach a high point. Our words are directly expressed in graphics.

Meaning, as for Western writing, the meaning is first converted into syllables, and then icons are used to express the basic syllables. After entering the brain, it is interpreted through a set of conventional methods. Is this an extra process? The difference between these two developments,

Are there any objective factors and the inevitability of development?

This question was asked somewhat randomly, because it had nothing to do with the content of Professor Dai Jinhua's course. It was just a topic picked from scraps to expand on. Professor Dai Jinhua was stunned for a moment, and then said: This may not be inevitable.

I asked: Maybe the difference is just an accident?

She said: Yes.

I later had a lot of thoughts about this issue, but I won’t discuss it here. The reason why I say this is because this issue seems random, but to me, it is so important that I

It's running through my mind anytime, anywhere.

For me, the most attractive aspect of language is the transmission of thoughts.

I am thirty years old, have not gone to college, and write online novels. I am not really recognized by society yet - of course, I have studied in Luyuan University and participated in several conferences, both large and small, but I have not been admitted.

Writers Association, my achievements are only circulated in a small area, and I am only an average online novel writer. But if you ask me seriously: "What exactly do you do?" I might answer:

"I do the transmission, the transmission of thoughts."

There is a myth in the "Bible, Old Testament, and Genesis" that I have always liked. In ancient times, because humans had no language separation, they were extremely powerful and worked together. They built the Tower of Babel together in an attempt to seize God's authority, but God did not destroy it.

They just made them all start speaking different languages, and then humans fell into mutual suspicion and war, and could never unite again, so the Tower of Babel collapsed.

This is really an extremely simple and profound philosophy. Almost all human differences and problems come from the opacity of each other's thinking. In an essay when I was twenty-seven, I wrote about the relationship between wild boars and morality, in terms of interests, morality, and deception.

On the triangle, deception comes from this, and from this the rich and colorful human world is born, with all its comedies and tragedies, all its rules and status quo.

Language is the most important way to complete human beings. It is used to convey other people’s thoughts and intentions, and to carry other people’s wisdom. Whether it is the understanding of scientific laws or the perception of life, we can accumulate and pass it on to others through words.

Let future generations grow up quickly without having to experience it one by one. From this, when they experience the same challenges, they may make better choices and have a better life.

Human society has evolved as a result.

When I was in my early twenties, I first came across the concept of "words have limits and cannot express all thoughts" in Haruki Murakami's book.

By ten years - what I have been thinking about tirelessly is how to transform thoughts into words that are as accurate as possible. I have thrown away the gorgeous and unnecessary writing styles that even I myself do not understand, leaving simple branches, and then turning the leaves into

It flourishes, and then it is pruned, and so on again and again. Now, as I continue to prune in this style, I am thirty years old.

Some people think my writing is good, while others don't. Of course, each has their own reasons.

Second:

Let me talk about my character. As far as I am concerned, I have huge character flaws.

Such character flaws stem from the wrong sequence and wrong structure when I received education. When I was enlightened, my grandfather taught me a very correct and upright way of thinking. Later, when I read Lu Xun,

, I imitated Lu Xun’s writing style in my composition. My writing style was not good, and the teacher said that my thinking was also bad. I was confused and thought, I was criticizing bad things, why was it me who had bad thinking? After thinking about it,

, this is the initial disagreement and incompatibility - each of us has experienced these to a greater or lesser extent.

What I experienced next was an era of rapid change. A reader once said in a book review that I had witnessed the afterglow of that era. Indeed, when I was young, I witnessed the afterglow of that era when the changes were not yet drastic.

, and then came drastic changes, the impact of various concepts, and the world view I established was incompatible with this world. Then, due to family difficulties, I gave up college. When I gave up college, knowledge was in my mind

It no longer has weight. Without weight, there is no awe. I dismantle everything at will, so all orthodox knowledge loses its meaning.

I often tell people that the so-called "meaning" comes from the "sense of ritual." When we were children and played house, we all discussed in a serious manner how to place the dishes, how to sit, and how to feed the people. On Qingming Festival, we would sweep tombs and kneel down.

Come down, how to kneel, how many times to kowtow - for pure materialists, are these related to ghosts and gods? No, they are only related to ourselves. When we do it seriously, it will produce "meaning"

weight.

In the simplest explanation: when we put a lot of effort into something, we will automatically convince ourselves that what we are doing is meaningful.

So later on, whenever some book friends who don’t want to study come to me and ask me if they want to go to college or continue their studies, I will advise them to continue, not just for the sake of knowledge, but more so that when they enter society,

Feeling the dedication they have made, feeling the heavy thing, and then they tell themselves: "I am ready."

I entered the society when I was unprepared, and then I lost all awe. I thought that everything could be structured using basic logic, and my brain was still easy to use. When I encountered something, I

The brain will automatically go back thousands of years or even tens of thousands of years ago, construct logic from the primitive society, and then push it link by link to the present, looking for all the causes of this matter. If the cause can be found, the mind will be able to

In the past. Just like the story of the wild boar I told three years ago, the origin of morality.

For a while, I suspected that I might have some kind of mental illness called Asperger's syndrome. This type of patient uses logic to construct perceptual thinking. During a period when I was least good at communicating with others, I even tried to use logic to formulate thoughts.

A set of rules for talking to people...

There is no doubt that I have tasted the bitter pill.

If there were only the above problems, maybe I wouldn't be writing as much as I am now. Half a year ago, I saw a sentence, which goes something like this: The most important quality of an excellent writer is sensitivity. For some things, others still don't understand.

They didn't feel any pain, they were already in terrible pain. If they wanted to endure the pain, they had to be humorous...

I often tell people that I have no literary talent, but I probably have the quality of sensitivity. Sometimes I see those born in the 1980s who don’t know what to do after entering the society, changing their three views and distorting their spirit.

, in the struggle, no one knows what is wrong with these, until one day - most people - regard money and power as the standard to measure everything, as the criterion of success, and continue to pursue it. Those who have achieved it feel that

Not satisfied, they always feel that something is missing. People begin to miss their youth. Being young has led to the popularity of a large number of "The Year in a Hurry", but looking back, even if money and power cannot satisfy themselves,

I have no choice but to continue pursuing it. This is a bit too high-key, right?

Sometimes when trying to deconstruct oneself, deconstruct the entire human race, put it in the time of the entire earth or even the universe, and then see the wind and sand rolling up, and in an accidental moment, a beautiful pattern is drawn. We produce so-called wisdom, and we adapt

The world, changing the world, eventually destroying the world, will eventually perish... can't find the meaning of eternal existence - this seems to be a middle-of-the-road thing again, right?

If I thought about this when I was eighteen years old and my three views were not yet complete, it would indeed be a secondary emotion that could be changed. When I turn thirty, I would be serious about returning to this issue.

This piece of stuff may be about the ultimate nihilism proposition, and I don’t really want to discuss it with anyone. Under normal circumstances, it’s the second most shocking and shameful thing. I mention it just to get into the third point.

After stating these two points, let’s move on to the third point: let’s talk about online articles.

I have been writing online articles for many years. Although when I went to Luyuan, I insisted that there is no distinction between traditional literature and online literature, but in fact, there is. Some call it traditional literature and popular literature, and some call it

Let us temporarily think that there is such a division between elite literature and popular literature.

I write books very seriously, and I dare to tell anyone so confidently. I once had the dream of being a writer—and I still have it—but the definition of a writer is somewhat different.

Two days ago, Hunan Province held the Sixth Young Writers Conference, which is said to be held every five years but was held ten years later. I went over to attend and happened to be interviewed by a reporter from Hunan Economic Television. I had no drafts or preparations at that time.

Representative of Internet literature, when talking about Internet articles, I said that today's Internet articles may not be the future of literature, but in the middle, it contains the most important link that is missing from traditional literature that is currently in trouble.

They are: attraction, persuasion.

I used to define literature like this: traditional literature focuses on the exploration and speculation of one's own spirit, while online literature focuses on transmission and communication.

In this definition, traditional literature digs deep into the self. Its depth determines its height. Even if many people cannot understand it, people with high ideological realm can see it and they communicate at a very high level.

, I do not think they are worthless, on the contrary, these ideas can be said to be the most shining treasures in human development, and I am sincerely convinced.

As for online literature, what we care more about is how to spread something in our minds to readers' hearts. Over the years of the development of online literature, we have accumulated a lot of experience and techniques. Of course, some are good and some are not.

There are good ones, there are benign ones, and there are bad ones. Internet literature, after all, is still a subject with mixed results.

When I was studying in Luyuan, one day I accidentally met a teacher on the road and chatted about differences. The other person was a very good teacher, but he didn’t know much about online literature after all, so he talked about some things. I was

It seems to say: I have seen many authors who cannot make money and are forced by life. When they want to make money with their words, they will dive into the most extreme direction and change their original thinking.

Give up everything. People go to extremes like this.

The other party said: But we do have many authors who persist in the declining social atmosphere. They are not doing it for money. They try their best to resist the influence of social atmosphere. Their speculations are important to society.

Very important, can't live without...

The first thought that popped into my mind at that time was: The impact of reform and opening up in the past thirty years has led to the decline of spiritual civilization and the impact on more than one billion people. Can just saying "I tried my best" be enough to explain away the past?

There may be such persevering authors, one or two, who are all respectable, but isn't it responsible for the weakness of the entire literary circle in the past thirty years?

Literature is the beginning of spiritual civilization!

I didn't dare to say it.

In the interview the day before yesterday, I mentioned the best literature and asked what the best literature is. I actually don’t have a very specific concept. I said: It can really make people’s spirits harmonious. When we say: "

Your life should not be just for money and power." People will truly believe that it can be truly persuasive, that it can educate and entertain, and infect the most people, instead of making people feel like they are singing after they finish speaking.
To be continued...