During the days when Hong Yanwu was imprisoned, there was a time when the curtains that had been sewn together came apart, revealing a gap.

Through that light, he could see the branches of the trees in the garden downstairs. His favorite thing was to see the "visitors" on the branches, sometimes a few sparrows, sometimes a magpie.

Once, two squirrels climbed up a branch with fluffy tails. They chased each other and squeaked, seeming to be communicating emotionally. Then, one squirrel took the fruit from the tree and shared it with the other.

…

Although he couldn't tell the difference between male and female, and couldn't understand the language of the squirrels, he was still sure that they were a family. But just as he was lost in thought, a woman's hand suddenly reached out in front of him and tightened the curtains.

The woman came to bring him porridge as a favor, but she happened to discover the secret that he kept staring at. Without any delay, she immediately used needle and thread to sew the curtains back up to make them airtight, and in order to punish him, she also took the porridge away.

.

He didn't care, it was unappetizing anyway. But he still cried. Just one accident destroyed his only remaining connection with the outside world.

After crying, he realized that he missed home.

He should also have relatives, everyone does, right? But what about his relatives?

Forgetting the past is tantamount to betraying oneself. He tried his best to recall, but the distant memories were very blurry.

In the darkness, many past events gathered together like water, and the bits and pieces of life gradually turned into pictures. But everything I remembered was so scattered and incredible, both familiar and strange.

One moment, it was him sitting on the roof watching the stars. Another moment, it was him holding a broken cattail leaf fan desperately fanning the thick smoke coming out of the coal stove. Another moment, it was him kicking and punching and riding his bicycle across Sijiu City. Another moment, it was him.

He was handcuffed and put into a prison car under the tight security of the armed police. One moment, he was fighting with others and overturning the table. The next moment, he was drinking and drinking freely in a restaurant with money in hand...

There is only one image that left a deep impression on me.

In the east courtyard of Furuli Guanyin Temple, sitting on the high steps under the door is a little girl less than six years old.

She was wearing a blue cotton-padded jacket with plain flowers, and her two pigtails were blown back by the wind. She also put one hand on her white forehead to block the setting sun. Even in winter, she would

Every day I sit on this high step, looking at the far intersection with my big, round black eyes, waiting for him to come home from school.

This girl is very familiar. Who is she?

Is it his sister? Yes, she is his sister, his only biological sister!

He remembered. He remembered the intimacy with his sister, and his sister's attachment to him.

When he was a child, his younger sister was his little follower. When he appeared in the alley after school, she would call his third brother in a tender voice, jump over to him, and then grab his dirty hands and run together.

Entering the house, my sister's white and tender hands are clear and full of warm flesh.

In my mind, my younger sister's childish voice came out.

"Third brother, third brother, third brother..."

"Third brother, you eat." My sister stretched out her little hand and forced a piece of candy dough into his mouth.

"Third brother, I'm afraid, don't..." My sister ran to avoid her, while he was chasing her around the yard with a hanged ghost (a native dialect referring to the larvae of the Sophora japonica moth) in his hand, like a dog chasing a rabbit.

"Third brother, it's so sweet." My sister bit into the big red dates he had just picked and smiled. All the dates were pocketed in his vest.

"Third brother, does it hurt? I'll put some 'two hundred and two' on you. It'll heal quickly." My sister applied the red liquid on his chest. His bare back was scratched by the jujube tree, and he gritted his teeth in pain.

Grinning.

"Third brother, you are so awesome." My sister looked at him with admiration. He had just avenged his sister and beat the "adze head" who bullied her in the alley. Although he also had black eyes and looked like he had been pulled out.

The hairy black-eyed chicken...

"Dad, please don't hit the third brother... I threw the orange peel on the aunt beside you..." My sister cried with tears in her eyes, trying to cover up his mistake...

Waves of warmth filled his heart, and he felt so comfortable that it seemed to melt his whole body.

He remembered that he did have relatives. And not only his sister, but also his parents and brothers.

But when his father's sickly and thin face appeared in his mind, he suddenly felt a stabbing pain in his heart.

He immediately remembered that it was because of his father's report that he fell into the hands of the police and was sent to a labor camp.

In the unprecedented ten years, the "Black Five" family structure has brought too many disasters to the Hong family. But just as the "movement" was coming to an end, Hong Yanwu was hunted down by the police for beating his son, who was an official.

.Originally, he planned to go home and see his mother before flying away, but he didn’t

Thinking of his father, who had always been timid and afraid of getting into trouble, he chose to report to the police station because he was afraid that his family would be implicated. So, Hong Yanwu, who had fled over the wall in a hurry, was surrounded by the police and workers' militia brought by his father under the wall.

.This moment is the last meeting between their father and son.

Hong Yanwu still remembers the scene at that time.

He fell into an ambush as soon as he jumped off the wall. More than a dozen worker militiamen appeared out of nowhere and pressed him to the ground in an instant. Then, a policeman came over and handcuffed him behind his back.

Then, in front of his father, the militiamen lifted him up and twisted him away without hesitation.

He turned back with resentment. Under the wall, his father, who had "killed relatives for justice", was still standing there, his eyes full of sorrow.

"I don't have a father! I jumped out of a rock!"

He suddenly jumped to his feet and shouted, almost breaking free from the hands of the militiamen. The shouts echoed throughout the alley.

Under the street lamp, my father shed tears on his clothes. He bent over in pain, covered his chest with his hands and squatted down.

He couldn't shout anymore and cried. He even wanted to go back to help his father, but he resented his father's ruthlessness.

While he was hesitating, without another chance, several policemen pressed his head together and forced him into the motorcycle sidecar.

Soon, the police station sentenced him to three years of forced labor and sent him to Chadian. While in the labor camp, he thought about it day and night every day, but his family never came to see him. When he couldn't help but write to his family,

When I received the letter, I unexpectedly heard someone talking behind my back.

"That's weird. His damn father sent him away and he still wants to meet him?"

"That's right, even his mother has to listen to his father. It's no use writing letters. What a fool."

These words made his longing for his family immediately turn into a deeper resentment against his father. He stubbornly tore up the letter, thinking that it must be, as others said, that no relatives came to see him because of his father's obstruction.

During the Great Tangshan Earthquake, Chadian was also affected by the earthquake. At this time, because of his active rescue and meritorious service, his period of reeducation through labor was reduced to one year. However, after he was released from reeducation through labor (referring to the release of reeducation through labor), out of hatred for his father, he

But instead of going home, he chose to wander around for two years. When he entered the house again, he unexpectedly learned that his father had just died of illness.

His mother said that his father contracted a leg disease shortly after he was sent to the labor camp and was bedridden. Because his father needed constant care and the family’s money had to be used to buy medicine, the family could not visit him. The mother also said that she was deeply affected by the disease.

My father, who was suffering from illness, died with his name in mind. What worried my father the most when he was dying was that he was worried that he would go astray.

Looking at his father's portrait, he felt lost. All the resentment in his heart suddenly disappeared, but turned into a more painful regret...

The peristalsis of the intestines and stomach suddenly woke Hong Yanwu up from the past, and his stomach growled again. In order to feel more comfortable, he found a pillow and put it on his stomach. He had experience with this, and it would be fine if he was overly hungry.

At this moment, what he misses most is not the delicacies such as abalone and lobster, but the ordinary meals that his mother often cooked, such as sliced ​​soup, stir-fried dumplings, boiled dumplings, and noodles with soy sauce.

My mother's cooking method is very traditional. She eats everything according to the seasons and never messes with things. She cooks whatever is delicious. She bakes spring cakes at the beginning of spring and braised noodles for birthday celebrations. Scrambled eggs with Chinese toon in short spring and braised Yuqian noodles in the hot summer.

Braised kohlrabi, salted eggplant, fried glutinous rice dumplings, braised lentil noodles, cold autumn paste, dried fruits, grilled eggplant, stir-fried green and white snake, warm quince mixed with cabbage in the cold winter, braised sea rice with green onions, boiled meatballs

Cabbage, sauerkraut and white meat. Chinese New Year rice noodles and meat, croquettes, pork skin jelly, mustard dumplings, fried croquettes, eight-treasure rice...

In these imaginations full of color, fragrance and color, Hong Yanwu seemed to see his mother busy in the small kitchen again. He was half confused and walked into his memory again.

Once a person is thrown into a labor camp, he becomes a piece of shit. Not to mention finding a serious public job, it is even difficult for the street to arrange a temporary worker.

After moving back home, he quickly became discouraged because he repeatedly encountered obstacles in finding a job. He only used fighting and drinking every day to vent his depression, and became a frequent visitor to the detention center. His eldest brother and second brother were not kind to him, and they talked about him all day long.

Obey the law and don't let yourself down. Although he understood their good intentions, it made him see again that he was different from others, and not just in the eyes of outsiders.

His mother was so anxious that she shed tears, so that he would avoid getting into trouble. Her mother spent all her money to buy him wine and meat, hoping to keep him at home with good food. But he still couldn't stay at home and kept making noises to go out every day.

When his mother really couldn't stop him, she would just put money and food stamps into his hands and tell him repeatedly, "Eat enough, eat well, drink less, don't fight, and come back soon."

And whenever he came home drunk late at night, his mother would stay up all night waiting for him. It wasn't until she took off his clothes, wiped his face, and put him to bed that his mother could sleep peacefully. In his drunken haze, he only remembered

The mother's face was full of exhaustion, anger and distress. The mother always looked at him helplessly and sighed deeply, "Oh, what's the use of raising a son..."

He has indeed become the biggest burden on his mother. In order to provide for his food and drink, her mother has to rely on cardboard boxes to make up for the household expenses after get off work every day. Sometimes because she stays up late, she will keep rubbing the corners of her eyes with her hands under the light, causing her eyes to drop. Some shining things. But even if he saw them, he was indifferent, and he never asked a question. He did nothing at home, and had long been accustomed to his mother doing the dirty work, and even the dirty clothes had to be washed by his mother.

In these careless and chaotic days of his, his mother had no regrets about this kind of hard work. In fact, his mother's request was very simple. She just wanted the whole family to reunite and live in peace. But even with such a small request, he

He also failed to satisfy her. Soon, he was formally arrested for injuring someone while drunk.

When two police officers handcuffed him at home and escorted him out of the house, he saw his mother's confused and distressed eyes. Until then, she still didn't believe that her son could do it after such a painful lesson.

Became a criminal again.

His mother burst into tears. She didn't wipe them away, and she didn't cry. She just let the tears soak her clothes. The breeze blew her hair, and he realized for the first time that his mother's hair was already gray.

It was not easy for the mother. Her red and swollen fingers and haggard face were extremely dazzling at that moment.

Full of shame, he could only lower his head and silently walk past his mother. Then, with the neighbors dumbfounded, he got on the police jeep specially brought for him. When the red police lights sounded the piercing siren,

Finally, the car drove him quickly to the Xuanwu Branch.

Later he found out that just as the police car left, his mother chased him out of the house. As she looked at the military green jeep going away, her body and spirit exceeded the limit of what she could bear. The neighbors screamed in surprise.

Amidst the sound, she held on to the courtyard door and collapsed.

His mother passed away in the hospital. When he was in prison, he was shocked to hear the news of his mother's death. He couldn't help banging his head against the wall of the cell until his fellow inmates called the prison guard. His face was covered in blood. That night,

He stood alone all night facing the moonlight outside the iron window without anyone interfering. Everyone thought he was mentally disturbed and had been stimulated. At dawn, he fell ill and had a fever of forty degrees.

After the mother's funeral, the eldest brother and the second brother took their sister to the detention center to deliver bedding to him. In the reception room, through the iron window, the brothers met each other.

The eldest brother has always had a bad temper. As soon as he saw him, he immediately threw his luggage on the iron fence in front of him.
To be continued...