Recently, I have been very uncomfortable. Many things are intertwined. I want to write something and say something to others. In fact, this is a letter, not really written to the author, but to the author's family, or to be more straightforward. It is written to the author's wife, and in fact it is written to my own wife.

I am not very old and I am not satisfied with my child. I am just three years old and don’t talk about any big careers. There are many places where I fail. I have found a little sense of accomplishment on the road of writing, and I dare not talk about my ideals. The pressure of reality is enough to make people dare not slack off on this luck.

I don’t know what other people’s families are like, and from time to time, I have been like me, with constant verbal arguments and frequent cold wars. The verbal arguments have changed from long speeches to a few words of emotion, but the cold war has changed from a short calm of several hours to a few days, half a month or even longer without saying a word.

There are too many sleepless nights, ashes on the table, water bottles and snacks next to the computer, and those takeaway boxes and bags.

I only had to take care of the undressed face when I went out, pair of shorts, unkempt and dirty face, sweating profusely on the hot summer day, and the fan blew whirring.

Countless people come in and out under the air conditioning in the bedroom, and finally sleep on the sofa at night.

What am I doing? There is a word that the author makes fun of himself, called "coded words". Most authors use this word to describe what they do. Yes, this word itself means making fun of. Because few authors who write words really put some literary ideals in their mouths, and even dare to hide their thoughts in their hearts. Also, because most authors face real survival problems, they dare not talk about many ideals to people.

Yes, my wife, my wife, my wife, you probably really don’t know what I am doing? So what you see is the ease of this job. Others have to go out to make a living in the cold and heat. I only have to sit in front of the computer for a few hours. When it is cold, there is an electric stove and when it is hot, there is a fan.

Then, play with your phone, read web pages, or sit in a daze, or lie on the sofa to make a good sleep. Apart from the twenty-four hours a day, how relaxed and comfortable it is, except for the few hours of typing.

The back pain is just that I exercise too little, and when I am hungry, I don’t know how to eat on time.

It turns out that you complain every day that I go home too late, so I often ask you where you are. The kitchen at home cannot be opened once a month, so you take it for granted, anyway, there is convenience of takeout.

It is my fault not to wash dishes, it is my fault as the sofa on the bed is messy, it is my fault that I did not throw away the takeaway packages I ate, it is my fault that I did not wipe the ash on the table, it is my fault that all the problems at home are the source of your anger at me.

I have written two novels that are barely good, one is finished, and one is still writing. I have written more than three million words. You have not read a chapter, but you can watch TV series one by one, and watch Douyin and Weibo continuously.

Although I don't say it, I really hope that you can see what I write, not to show off how high my literary attainments and how well I write. I just want you to see if I have spent my hard work, whether I have taken it seriously, and whether it is worth understanding a little bit.

Yes, if you can't read a few lines of words, you can't read what I wrote. My father can read it, my brother can read it, and even my mother, a person with elementary school education, can read it, but you just don't want to take a look. Maybe they are just willing to understand what I'm doing, but you don't care about this issue. You only care about the monthly royalties, whether it's more than last month.

Actually, most of the time, I don’t care about this issue. What I care about is that you can take care of your children well and I can make more money.

It’s just that when you say the words “Your job is so easy”, I really care about this.

Because in your eyes, I am a lazy person, a lazy person, a lazy person who complains and gets angry no matter how you look at it. You don’t know how much effort I have spent on writing more than three million words, how much information I have read, and how many times I have been confusing my mind.

You don’t know that my dreams at night are almost all the contents of novels. For me, this is a good dream.

So I want to use "working hard" in front of you to describe how I can't say it when I write a novel, so I will nod and smile. Yes, it's really easy to make money by typing than other people's jobs.

I remember once I said such words, or it was a joke. The general content was that the white-collar workers in office buildings who could earn my typing income in big cities were all hard to return early and late, and they were as tired as dogs. Otherwise, I would rent a house outside, go out in the morning, and come back in the evening, and then behave as work.

You are probably a little happy that the income from this manuscript fee is really not low, and you are very angry at my daily life, which is as if you are absent-minded. Then you and I are arguing, and you and I are arguing, and there is a cold war.

I was still ordering takeout, smoking cigarettes, frowning absent-mindedly, thinking, and typing words on my phone, on my computer, and going out to deal with matters, important affairs, family affairs, nostalgia, and even funerals.

Admittedly, the pressure on reality is great. Most of the time you take care of your children, or your mother helps with them, now your child is in kindergarten. You have to deal with the trivialities of the family. As a woman, you have made a lot of comeback for your family. There is also the pressure of debt.

Then there was a husband like this who thought that if he earned a few dollars, he would never wipe the ash on the table and wash the bowls once a month.

Nowadays, I occasionally wonder why you are such a wife.

Then you disdain me, I disdain you.

However, after all, we are husband and wife, and we really fall in love with each other. We have to continue to move on. Is this kind of model really OK to get along with each other? How long can we continue? Divorce is simple and common, and sometimes I feel it doesn’t matter. But is it really the last one that you and I want to see?

At least I really don't want to calm down.

How is the novel written? I never talk about this issue or dare to say how high my level is, let alone say that everyone likes it. But I have worked hard and tried my best to think of it. I have tried all the ideas I can think of, and used all the words I can write. I have tried my best to distinguish myself from others and to be different from others.

Family, maybe I really didn’t do my best, so I should work hard.

I hope that the end will be a perfect ending. I hope this Cold War will end as soon as possible.

After writing so much, I looked back and read it out of pretentiousness. I read out of a man's pretentiousness.

In the end, it was only published in the novel and was not allowed to you to see it.
Chapter completed!