After taking a shower in the bathroom, I looked at my red, swollen and hot face in the mirror. It was a little itchy when steamed by the heat, and my eyes were a little swollen.

I frowned, it was ugly, and then went out.

The man had already washed and sat on the edge of the bed. When he saw me coming out and waved, I walked over and sat down obediently.

He looked at my face, then covered his palms and rubbed them gently.

His hands were cold and comfortable.

At that moment, I felt very wronged and wanted to cry.

Just like a child who was learning to walk fell down, it was nothing, but whenever he heard his mother's comfort, he would cry out in grievance.

My eyes were astringent and swollen. I lowered my eyes and tried hard to hold it back, constantly telling myself not to cry, never to cry, you are already embarrassed enough in front of him, and if he cries, he will look down on you even more.

But tears still dripped down his eyelashes and fell on his pajamas, gradually spreading, and finally fainted into an irregular circle. My eyes were always blurred, and I tried to open my eyes wide and I wanted to see more clearly.

"Does it still hurt?" he asked.

I shook my head, and I thought he might think I cried because of the pain.

He suddenly stood up, and when he came back, he held a towel in his hand, wrapped in ice, and applied it to half of my swollen face.

I was a little flattered, what is he doing?

"When you scratched your ears and foreheads in the corridor before, your face turned red and swollen. What's going on?"

I don’t know how to tell him that I quarreled with a lady and ended up losing the lottery? Will he think I am a shrew? Doesn’t it seem that I am useless?

“…”

"You know Fu Xiaohan?" He suddenly changed the topic.

I knew I couldn't hide it from his eyes, so I took a deep breath, "Who is Fu Xiaohan?"

After the last gastric medicine incident, I have learned to be smart.

He laughed when he heard this, not a sneer or a ridicule. It wasn't a grim smile, but a real smile, you could feel his smile.

I was surprised that I had never seen him laugh like this before, and I didn't expect him to smile so well.

The hair on the forehead is soft and a little messy, the eyes are curved and bright, the bridge of the nose is very straight, the teeth are white, the mouth is very beautiful, and it is very handsome and beautiful.

You shine for a moment, and I am dizzy for the rest of my life.

"You are really smart, and you will learn from your mistakes."

I can only pretend not to understand.

"But, she said, she knows you."

I felt relieved, "Impossible."

People like Fu Xiaohan are the best to be faced. How could she admit that she knew people in the nightclub, especially in front of people she cared about.

"Okay, don't be fooled with me. You're so tired, just tell me."

I thought about it and said it. Actually, I knew in my heart that if he really wanted to know, even if I didn't, he would know it clearly.

"She and I are college classmates."

I didn't say much. I didn't want to show him my heart. Who knows what he thought? Maybe he still disdained to see it. Then am I humiliating myself?

I am like a clam. If one day I willingly open my hard shell and show him my soft heart, I will be doomed.

Maybe he didn't believe it at all. He would laugh at me the next second after listening to it, saying that I was a liar.

"Z-big?" He was quite surprised and did not express any doubt.

I nodded, and suddenly felt very sad, and it hurt like a knife. Although I have dropped out of school for many years, I feel very sad every time I think about it. No matter how hard I try, I can't overcome this hurdle. Z-big, I haven't heard this name for a long time.

"Why have you never heard people say it? You haven't said it."

What do you say? Say I am a college student? The top students from Z University sell in the nightclub? Very glorious? Very proud? Very proud? Very envied by others? Very strong capital to show off? Is this really the case? Is it shameful?

Of course I didn't have the courage to tell him this, so I could only remain silent.

"Then why don't you read it?"

I think this man is not as smart as I thought. Isn’t the answer obvious? I suddenly don’t want to continue this topic anymore. My mind is full of the scene of dropping out of school that day. Why don’t I read a similar sentence?

"I don't have money, I dropped out of school after I lasted for more than a year. Actually, it's nothing, it doesn't matter whether I study or not. Am I doing well now?"

I said the second half of the sentence for myself, but at the end, my voice choked and my eyes couldn't help falling down. Although I said that, I knew very well in my heart. Maybe, if I hadn't dropped out of school at that time, I would definitely be doing well now. I would definitely not be like this now. Anyone could trample me to death.

I have fantasized countless times, what would I look like if I was born in a family like Fu Xiaohan?

The more I think about it, the more I feel sad, but I still can't help thinking, like self-abuse. Every time I think about it, it's like tearing the wound that is about to be scarred again, making it blurred blood and painful.

But who can blame all this? I chose this path myself. The feeling of heartache reminds me all the time, even if I feel it hurts, I will suffer.

I chose the wrong path, but I was wrong from the beginning, but I couldn't go back to the original path and chose again.

No matter how I fantasize, it cannot become a reality. The imagination is full and the reality is skinny, that's it.

He suddenly became quiet, and after a long time he sighed, and reached out to hug me into his arms.

I didn't dare to move. When he hugged me, my mind was blank and my tears stopped flowing. I could only hear my heartbeat, but I wonder if he had heard it.

After a while, he let me go, held my shoulders, and slowly kissed half of my swollen face, very gentle, very gentle.

"The Fu family has only one daughter, so everyone around her pampered her. She has been spoiled since she was a child and has a bad temper. You can hide when you see her next time. If you really can't hide, don't fight head-on. You know what to do."

Everyone knows which is more important, Fu Xiaohan or me. I didn't expect him to slap Fu Xiaohan to relieve my hatred for me. This is unrealistic. If I really think so, then I am really overestimating myself.

But I didn't expect him to say these words to me, and he wasn't the one who could say these words at all.

He opened his mouth gently, kissed me gently, stroked my body gently, and entered my body gently. Such gentleness shattered me. The mental defense I had worked hard to establish over the years was shattered by his tenderness, and at that moment, he completely collapsed.

I clearly felt that he was inside me, I was not as resistant as before, and I wanted us to be together.

Even in this way.

The strange and unfamiliar feeling gradually came up, and before I could think too much, the sound of □□ spilled out of my throat. Maybe it was because I had just cried, which looked like the whimper of a small animal, and even had a hint of ambiguous and seductive meaning.

He became even more crazy after hearing this, and I wanted more and more.

That night I really felt happiness and that kind of pleasure. From the clouds to the abyss, reason and consciousness gradually faded away from the pleasure of overturning rivers and seas, with only overwhelming excitement and comfort.

Before this, I always doubted whether a woman had orgasm, and now I finally got it.

I once heard people say that women will always remember the men who brought her orgasm. I have never understood why, but now I seem to understand a little.

After all, I was moved, not just **, but based on the emotion.

I still remember when he hugged me tightly and speeded up, he spoke up with a heavy breath, "Luoluo, I want you, I want you..."

The next day I returned home and lay weakly on the bed.

What is after passion? Emptiness?

Maybe, but I'm still a little scared.

I fell.

It was not because of money or power, but because of me when I was saddest, although I didn't know if he was from the bottom of my heart.

I still remember clearly that he called me Luoluo.

I am not a flower, plant, or a machine or tool. I am an individual. I will have feelings for you. I can’t pretend that nothing happened after that night, and I can’t continue my heartless life.

After that day, my world changed.

Zuo Bingnan has never looked for me since then. When I was at work, I would search for his figure in the venue from time to time. I wanted to see him, but I was afraid that when I saw him, I would still turn a blind eye.

Every day before going to bed and after waking up, I would quietly say to myself, Xia Luoluo, you must be responsible, be content, and don’t covet things that do not belong to you. People are not satisfied with their hearts and snakes swallow elephants. You cannot want everything. You can’t afford to ask for it, and don’t be willing to be shameless. You have to remember who he is, who you are, and you have so many differences between you. He is the ancestor of the character generation, and you will not be serious. Have you heard and seen less in recent years? Isn’t it enough to teach you a lesson? Do you have to try the Dharma with your own body? Do you have to hit the wall before you give up? You are just playing around with the scene, but just dewy marriage. Where can you get so many for a lifetime?

I kept repeating these words, thinking that I could control myself, but I seemed to be possessed. These words were useless and I couldn't control my heart at all.

The heart, because of one person, it seems that the war is in chaos. A person is in chaos.

I often dream about him, dream of him kissing me gently, dream of him talking to me gently, dream of him touching my face gently, dream of him hugging me gently, dream of him sleeping with me gently, dream of him calling me "Luoluo"...

I felt like I was going crazy, and my sleep was particularly bad. Sometimes I couldn't sleep at all. I opened my eyes and watched the room turn from brightness to darkness. After finally falling asleep, these continued to appear in my dreams. Then I woke up from the dream, tears fell, and I could no longer fall asleep.

I know, I'm finished.
Chapter completed!