Walking out of the circus tent, Gotland looked up at the moon. It was bright and bright on weekdays, but now it was dull.

He felt that his future was like this moonlight. He originally thought that his future was bright, but he was wrong and the audience would not always like his show.

The short-term glory cannot beat the boredom of the show. The original splendor and prosperity was just a flash in the pan. Just like the first eight years of his clown's career, the roadside was full of flowers, but the flowers would eventually wither, leaving behind a bare land, making the walkers sad.

He sat on the steps by the river, smiled bitterly, and asked the horse trainer next to him: "My reputation is far worse than you. Now the ranking of circus programs is magic, horse trainer, animal trainer, tightrope walker, opening program and flying people in the air. Look, both of my programs are at the end, only a few children cheering for me on the opening program, but you are second."

The horse trainer patted his shoulder and said, "Life is like this, no flowers are red for a hundred days. Look at it. Although I am second now, it is hard to guarantee that I can always do this."

"Well, Mr. Shushu can definitely sit firmly in the first place, no one can match his magic."

"Haha, this is not necessarily the case. Maybe he will be out of here at any time. Wasn't you also a clown star back then?"

Gotland's face turned gloomy and lowered his head. He was poked into the sore spot by the horse trainer and did not want to say a word.

He wanted to get a little temper towards the horse trainer and take the opportunity to vent the resentment accumulated in his heart. But he held back. After all, he only had this friend, not to mention that the horse trainer was sincere to him.

He saw the shadows of two people long and long under the street lights, as if the soul tortured by the world was bent at will, forgetting his true heart. He silently recited in his heart: No matter how painful desire makes us, friendship will always remain unchanged.

The horse trainer turned his head and saw Gotland's dazed look, and was amused: "Silly boy, what are you thinking? It's better to think about a way out than letting your messy thoughts occupy your brain. What can you do if the clown can't continue to do it?"

"How is it possible?" Gotland asked back, "You're thinking too much. Circus needs clowns. Even if my show is not as popular as before, I won't lose my job."

"Oh, I'm worried about you." The horse trainer sighed.

"I'm afraid too, you don't need to be afraid of anything for me." Gotland spread his hands.

The horse trainer looked at the dim moon and said in a tone similar to that of himself: "I know you are afraid, but you are just afraid of what has happened now, you are just afraid of your current neglect of the audience. The reason you are afraid of him is because you have lost the fame and popularity you once had! I think this is not enough, or you are afraid of it without any use."

Gotland frowned: "Then what do you think I should be afraid of, or what are you afraid of for me?"

"I'm afraid of your future for you. Now you are in this situation. No one can tell what bad things will happen in the future."

Gotland thought for a while, then shook his head and said, "No, you don't need to be afraid of these things. I just said that I won't have a career."

The horse trainer sighed again: "You are escaping now, no, you are escaping all the time. You are escaping, so you are not afraid of the future. In fact, the real situation is that your worries about the future are buried in your heart, it is like a volcano,

It can explode at any time and then flood you."

"Okay, don't talk anymore." Gotland stood up, his voice trembling with difficulty. "I said I wasn't afraid, so don't guide me anymore. It's getting late, let's go home."

Gotland walked towards home without waiting for the horse trainer to answer, without looking back, and the shadow was pulled longer by the street lights. He could feel that the horse trainer followed him, worried about him.

He didn't want to look back at the trainer, because what the trainer just said made him feel very upset.

"Oh, may I really be escaping?" he murmured to himself. Before he knew it, he had already walked to the door of his house, and the cold wind blew away his sorrow.

He was worried that the horse trainer would really follow him all the way, so he looked back and found that the horse trainer was not there.

He nodded with satisfaction: "Well, it's great, my friend has gone back. Otherwise, there will be danger too late."

It was already late at night and he couldn't sleep, so he got up and wrote a note to Miss Roberts:

Miss Roberts, I like you, and I know you know I like you.

I remember when I first appeared in front of you, you were still poor before you got to know Mr. Dahl, and I was a superstar in Modo City and a top clown actor in Modo City Circus.

But now, you are living better and better because of Mr. Dahl. But you are unwilling to accept my gifts and money.

I know you like Mr. Dahl more. Although I think this is unreasonable, I respect your ideas.

I was hurt by you. But I felt that the source of my frustration was not the only source. I often felt inexplicable fear, and I couldn't say it or understand it.

My colleague, Mr. Horse Trainer, is my best friend. He came to the circus four years ago. We hit it off and talked to everything at first sight. He felt that he understood what I thought, but I was afraid that he understood. I would rather he understand nothing.

Miss Roberts, I don’t expect to win your favor. I feel very satisfied if you are willing to be friends with me.

What I want to ask you is, if I am down and out, will you still be friends with me? I hope you and my colleague Mr. Horse Trainer will never leave me.

Love your Gotland

The next morning, just as dawn, he rushed to the bakery, but he didn't dare to put the letter paper in, so he took it out and stuffed it under the pillow when he first left the house in the morning, and hurriedly sent the envelope over.

He held the bakery owner's hand tightly and said, "Please be sure to hand over this envelope to Miss Roberts, which contains my love and shyness for her."

Seeing that he was excited, the bakery owner immediately agreed.

At about seven o'clock, Miss Roberts came to the bakery to start working, and the owner handed her Gotland's envelope: "The guy named Gotland gave it to you."

Roberts felt a little annoyed, but he couldn't help but feel a little moved.

She walked to the corner with the envelope, quietly opened it, but saw that there was nothing inside. She curled her lips and said to herself, "Is this person sick..."

After a week, Gotland's show remained the same.

On this day, before the performance began, the circus leader called Gotland to the office again.

elder brother

Tran took heavy steps, and at this moment the fear in his heart gradually magnified, and an ominous premonition surged into his heart. He didn't know what would happen in a while.

"Knock, knock." Gotland knocked on the door, "Captain, are you here?" He felt his voice full of fear.

"Come in by yourself." The leader's voice was lazy and perfunctory.

Gotland sat on the seat tremblingly. He endured the worry in his heart and pretended to be calm and looked at the commander's mouth.

The leader looked at the documents in his hand and said, "Gotrand, you look at your current program and it has become like this again! Even the actors who walk the tightrope can get some applause, but even the children are too lazy to watch your performance."

Gotland lowered his head, his eyes were a little red, and he silently looked at the buttons of his shirt and whispered: "Children... there are still some who like to watch my opening show."

"Hmph." The leader sneered at this, "There are only a few kids, do you think you are very powerful?"

"No, I don't think I'm very awesome. So what are you going to do now?" Gotland lifted his heavy eyelids, as if he was about to cry. His hands kept rubbing, and he was extremely nervous.

"So, go to the circus door to send balloons to the children. It's still a clown to dress up and do cute or exaggerated and funny moves." The leader's tone was very firm, and he could not allow Gotland to refute at all.

"That's it, leader. Thank you for taking me in." Gotland agreed readily, because he knew he had no confidence and no longer had the capital to refute. His popularity was already invincible, so he could only follow the arrangements of the leader.

He felt as if he was so humble that he couldn't straighten his waist. His mind walked out of the office in a blank space.

The horse trainer came over and comforted him, "It's nothing, as long as you think about the future now, at least you won't lose your job."

"The way back?" Gotland stared at the horse trainer, obviously a little angry, "Do I still have a way out now? This is the worst case!"

The horse trainer held Gotland's shoulder and said, "Listen to me, Gotland. I originally thought you were just evading and considering your future, but now, I think you are too afraid of your future, so you escape. In fact, your heart is trembling. Do you feel it? Calm down and don't panic too much, so that you can keep your brain awake!"

"Enough! If you are my friend, you should encourage me instead of pouring cold water on me over and over again!" Gotland roared.

"I'm talking about your voice!" The horse trainer's voice began to grow louder, "I know what you are afraid of, and I know what you are escaping. I am your best friend, so I will tell you!"

"Okay, stop talking! I don't want to see you!" Gotland ran out and came to the door of the circus.

He looked at the afterglow of the sunset in the distance, like his own career, gradually dissipating between the world. Even the clouds in the sky were unwilling to pay attention to the residual scenery, and would rather be with the bright moon and stars in the dark.

In this way, day after day, Gotland, who is only a clown in the guest, is becoming more and more inferior. Children will see him and the balloons in his hands when they first come to the circus, and will be surprised in a moment, and then walk into the circus venue without any concern, and will not have more interest in Gotland.

Gotland spent all day in anticipation and loss. He missed the situation when he was a superstar in Modo every day, but he still couldn't figure out what he was afraid of.
Chapter completed!