Chapter 211 Yan Song Joke Collection
It seems that the emperor is determined to eradicate Yan Song's party.
Wu Jie felt a little sad for Hu Zongxian. If a hero is standing in the wrong team, he has already made the emperor hate him. The future situation is probably not good.
Wu Jieren said lightly, even if he wanted to help, he couldn't help.
Forget it, there is no need to think about this. It hasn’t reached that point yet. If you have the chance in the future, please help me.
When the emperor got angry, Wu Jie and Huang Jin couldn't say anything, so they just waited quietly to stand aside.
After a while, the anger in Jiajing's heart calmed down, as if he was self-deprecating, and as if he was explaining: "I never thought of using the wood for shipbuilding. I guess the slaves wanted to save some of my own health for me. If Wu Jie hadn't reminded me today, I would have been laughed at by others. I have worked hard to save some money over the years, but my ministers were jealous and would come to attack the captives whenever I encountered something. Forget it, I wouldn't talk about these unhappy things. How did Wu Jie do in the exam?"
The emperor's expression calmed down.
Wu Jie: "I think it's okay if you say it to Your Majesty."
Emperor: "That's good. If you can't get your talent, it means that the examiner is blind."
He turned to Huang Jin and said, "Come a memorial to Lu Fengyi impeach Hu Zongxian and take a look."
"yes."
When the note was found, the emperor looked at it for a long time, but threw it aside, obviously he couldn't make up his mind.
He also said: "Huang Jin, you will draft an imperial edict for me and appoint Lu Fengyi as the doctor of the Qing official department for the examination of the Ministry of Personnel... Don't issue it first, and then approve the rewards after the provincial examination is over."
"Yes." Huang Jin was shocked. The emperor was rewarding merits. Lu Fengyi was also a fifth-rank official when he was in Nanjing. This time he returned to Beijing to be a doctor of the Ministry of Personnel. However, this doctor of the Ministry of Personnel was directly related to the performance assessment of officials at all levels in the world. He was so powerful that even if the governors of various provinces met him, they had to stand up and speak in a regular manner, and they dared not speak out even if they were generous.
This person soared into the sky, but he still had to wait for the provincial examination. If Wu Jie could not win, this imperial edict would probably be invalidated.
It seems that Wu Jie has surpassed the scope of an ordinary jester in the emperor's mind, but a talent that can be used for a lot.
Indeed, Wu Jie is not only the world-class articles and poems, but also a good player in financial management. He is not inferior to Zhang Juzheng, the new assistant minister of the cabinet.
Jiajing only had two hobbies in his life, one was cultivation, and the other was making money. Wu Jie could write wonderful poems and was proficient in economics. It would be difficult for such a person not to be liked by the emperor.
In fact, it’s not that Wu Jie’s ability is financially capable. He studied liberal arts in high school because he was not good at math. But even so, relying solely on the little modern math knowledge he learned in his mind and his strong memory, combined with the insights of modern people, he was also considered a top-notch master in the Ming Dynasty.
After orally speaking, the emperor asked Wu Jie to present the new chapter of "The Story of Stone" and read it with relish.
He read the book slowly, and before he realized it was noon, he asked Huang Jin to pass on the meal and Wu Jie to accompany him.
Wu Jie was not restrained and sat straight down at the emperor's head, looking very casual.
Most people eat with the emperor. They seem cramped, that is, they raise their chopsticks to show that they can’t eat anything at all. Generally, in this case, the emperor will ask the eunuchs to pack for the ministers and take the endless meals back and enjoy them with their families to show the emperor’s grace. This is also a rule in the palace.
But Wu Jie didn't care about these things at all. He ate when he should and drank when he should, and seemed calm and composed.
But the emperor didn't care. He also talked to Wu Jie while eating.
Wu Jie knew that if he was just a serious person, he would not be able to compare with those great scholars in any case. He simply didn't do this and specifically picked up some rural monsters, rumors and other things. He even told a few jokes on the modern social table.
At the beginning, Huang Jin was still a little worried. He felt that Wu Jie could not wait for a good place to say this. But unexpectedly, the emperor became interested and was amused by the so-called dirty jokes.
Especially when Wu Jie said, "Just say that Master Yan Ge visited a private visit on his face and encountered a robber on the road. Master Yan Ge was furious, 'Do you know who I am? I am the chief minister of the dynasty, and he dared to rob my money? Robbery is a serious crime and he wants to behead him.' The robber was silent for a moment, 'Then you pay back my money.'" When Jiajing had not yet come back to his senses, he thought for a long time and suddenly laughed.
He said: "Wu Qing is very vulgar, but he is an open-minded person. Unlike those pedantic masters, he is so frustrated. However, if you say that Yan Ge Lao is clearly mocking him for being greedy. If you are heard, you will be so angry that you will vomit blood three liters."
Huang Jin couldn't help but squeak and quickly covered his mouth.
Jiajing was still laughing: "Yan Song actually instructed Hu Zongxian to ask me for money. He has been the chief minister for so many years, but he is not short of money. Why don't you post a few? Your joke is interesting. Wu Jie, if you want another one, it's still Master Yan."
Wu Jie said again: "Yan Ge loves money, and Xiao Yan loves money very much. Once, Yan Ge and his son went to Xu Ge Lao's banquet. Xiao Ge Lao saw a pair of white jade cups on the table, and he wanted to go home with one. But at this moment, Yan Ge Lao was quick and took the lead in hiding a cup quietly into his sleeve. Xiao Ge Lao was anxious and thought, this cup was a pair, if one was passed by his father, the other one would not be easy to get rid of. After thinking about it, he picked up the cup and said to everyone, "Everyone is quiet, I will play magic for you. I put this cup into the sleeve, and then coughed, and it would go to my father's sleeve." So, Xiao Ge Lao put the quilt into the sleeve and coughed at everyone."
Jiajing and Huang Jin didn't understand at first, but after thinking about it, they suddenly came to their senses.
The emperor laughed and spit out a mouthful of rice: "Yan Shifan is so savvy, even his father doesn't let him go. OK, this joke sounds so good. It's worthy of being the author of "The Story of Stone". Raising your hand is the story. I'm feeling depressed these days, and after listening to Wu Qing's joke, I feel so refreshed!"
Huang Jin also smiled so hard that he wiped his tears. If he talked about exploring the emperor's thoughts and meeting his preferences, no one in this world can compare to Wu Shizhen.
The emperor is now disgusting with the Yan Party, and there is nothing that makes him happier than vilifying the Yan family's father and son.
In fact, these two jokes are not original by Wu Jie. The first joke comes from the Taiwanese political joke collection, while the latter one is even more famous and is a classic in the Italian bestselling book "Totti Joke Collection".
It is used to deal with the ancients who were so humorous that they were quite like killing chickens.
After dinner, the emperor was in a good mood. He asked Wu Jie to write a green lyrics for himself and a Luotian ceremony, which made it very lively. However, there were craftsmen working everywhere in Yuxi Palace, which seemed a little noisy.
In the next few days, Wu Jie stayed here, writing "Stone Story" and writing Qing Ci. His life was fulfilling when it came to the accounts of the Ministry of Revenue.
In the past few days, in order to join the emperor's favor, Wu Jie really told a lot of jokes. The protagonists are Yan Song. If they form a collection, they will be enough for a book called "Yan Song's Joke Collection".
On this day, Huang Jin came over and said, "Shizhen, you should leave the palace and go home. Tomorrow is the day when the Shuntian Prefecture provincial examination will be issued, but it is not difficult to delay. Li Shizhen has also entered Beijing and will go to your mansion tomorrow."
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Yan Song Mansion.
"Have Hu Zongxian gone to Xiyuan?" Yan Shifan was so angry that he trembled all over. He had just recovered from a serious illness. He was dressed very thickly, and the ground dragon was burned in the house, but his face still looked pale: "As soon as he entered Beijing, he ran to the emperor for money, so he could bear it. It was so much to bear it!"
Yan Song sat on the chair, looked down at the floor, his eyes closed slightly, as if he was pretending to be sleeping.
Yan Shifan was still roaring loudly: "I don't know that the frontline lacks money. Of course, I have to squeeze out some of the expenses of various departments, halls and yamen. He came to Beijing and went directly to His Majesty without saying a word. I see, he was rebellious."
"I think it's the same." A gentle scholar replied.
This person is Yan Song's chief think tank, Luo Longwen, the secretary of the Central Secretariat.
Luo Longwen said: "Hu Zongxian is an open-minded person on the surface. In fact, he is very meticulous. In the previous period, there was rumors that Prince Yu's Mansion was interested in fighting for him. Hu Ruzhen went to see Your Majesty without authorization this time. He asked about the lack of money on the front line, just to anger Your Majesty, and then involved the Pavilion Master and the Little Pavilion Master. Your Majesty also knew that Hu Ruzhen was a disciple of the Pavilion Master, and must have thought that this was the Pavilion Master's commander from behind. Now, the Pavilion Master's Holy Family is no longer there, and he came here again, for fear that Your Majesty would feel even more disgusted to us. I thought, Hu Zongxian had defected to Prince Yu's Mansion."
"Yes, yes, it must be like this." Yan Shifan said with a grin: "I really misread this person."
"Ruzhen is not such a person." Yan Song suddenly opened his eyes and sighed: "You know what the treasury looks like in recent years. It is ventilation everywhere, and it is to break up the east wall and repair the east wall. After working as a paster for so many years, I have been exhausted and I am almost unable to support it. Hu Ruzhen's move is not going to force me. The loopholes under our hands are already big, and if we borrow three million military pay from other places, no one can cover it. Think about it, what would you do if you were replaced? Will you go to the cabinet to force me?"
Yan Shifan and Luo Longwen looked at each other, and were both a little discouraged.
After a long time, Luo Longwencai asked: "Gei Master, the war on the front line is related to our wealth, honor and disgrace, but if there is no military pay, what should we do?"
"The world is the world of the people." Yan Song said lightly: "Even if I don't care about the country, others will care about it. In fact, the Ministry of War every year is enough to deposit so much military pay. It's a pity that the people below are not good enough. If you deduct a few, I will make a fortune, and the hole will become bigger and bigger. But I can't help but protect them, otherwise, my Yan family will fall down immediately. The reason why Your Majesty asked me to be the chief minister was that he didn't want to mess up with everyone's help. The Ministry of Revenue could not get this military pay."
Yan Shifan's expression moved: "Do you really have to ask Your Majesty? This matter is not easy to deal with. The renovation of Yuxi Palace began to be raised a few years ago. Who dares to stop?"
"Not necessarily." Yan Song said: "Others dare not move, but some dare to move."
Yan Shifan's eyes lit up: "My son seems to understand a little." He suddenly laughed and said: "There are people in this world who are like sparrows that eat broad beans, with big mouths and small assholes. They eat them, but they can't pull them out. For such people, I have thousands of ways to deal with them."
At this moment, a servant came to report: "Mr. Hu asked to see the chief minister."
Luo Longwen: "Which Lord Hu?"
The servant: "Governor Hu, Lord Hu."
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Chapter completed!