Bian Nan walked around the street twice. He had no appetite and felt that it was not delicious when he saw anything. He didn't know what to buy.

Finally, he transferred to a small shop that looked good in half an hour. He ordered two portions of roast goose rice and one portion of porridge, and packed them back to the hospital.

At the entrance of the hospital, he looked at the time and called Qiu Yan.

Qiu Yan has arrived home and is preparing to eat hot porridge by himself.

"Your brother is still discussing in the doctor's office," said Bian Nan. "There are so many things to do at noon, so you can eat at home and have a sleep, and go to school by yourself in the afternoon."

"Yeah," Qiu Yan replied, "Can brother come back then?"

"Can I go back," Bian Nan couldn't help but feel sore when he heard Qiu Yan's voice, "I'll pick you up after school in the afternoon."

"Okay, can you bring me a bottle of yogurt, and beef jerky." Qiu Yan said immediately.

"Your brother is back, you still dare to eat like this?" Bian Nan said with a smile.

"I'll eat something soon after he comes back, otherwise I can't eat it again." Qiu Yan laughed.

"Okay, I'll bring it to you, but today is it, I can't eat it randomly tomorrow." Bian Nan said.

"Yeah!" Qiu Yan should have been very loud.

When he returned to the door of the ward, Bian Nan listened outside the door. There was no Qiu Yi's voice in the room. Dad Qiu and the uncle on the bed next door were talking.

Before Qiu Yi finished talking to the doctor, Bian Nan hesitated for a moment and sat down on the chair in the corridor. He suddenly did not dare to stay face to face with Dad Qiu alone.

Don't know why.

After a while on the chair, the elevator rang and Qiu Yi walked out.

"How is it?" Bian Nan stood up.

"What did you buy?" Qiu Yi walked to him, opened the plastic bag and looked in.

"Roast goose rice, I bought porridge for your father." Bian Nan looked at him. Since he was admitted to the hospital, the expression on Qiu Yi's face has not changed much, and his emotions cannot feel any fluctuations.

"Why didn't you go in?" Qiu Yi looked at him.

"I..." Bian Nan didn't know what to say, and indeed he didn't know why he didn't dare to go in.

"Roast goose rice," Qiu Yi sat down on the chair, "Then let's go in after eating. Otherwise, my dad would drink porridge and we wouldn't be greedy for him."

"Oh." Bian Nan sat down next to him, took out a portion of rice and handed it to Qiu Yi. He guessed that Qiu Yi could guess that he didn't dare to go in.

During the meal, Qiu Yi didn't say a word, and Bian Nan couldn't keep asking. Seeing Qiu Yi like this, there should be nothing good about the doctor, otherwise he would have said it long ago.

Bian Nan hadn't finished the meal, it was too congested, and it was even more uncomfortable than having a meal after a fight with Bian Xinyu and Bian Hao at home.

"I'll go in and chat with my dad later," Qiu Yi looked hungry. After eating his own portion, he took the lunch box in Bian Nan's hand and continued to eat, "Why..."

"I'm waiting outside." Bian Nan said.

Qiu Yi glanced at him, patted his legs gently, buried his head and finished his lunch box, got up and went to the tea room to heat up the porridge in the microwave, and entered the ward.

When Qiu Yi pushed open the door of the ward, he felt that the door was very heavy. He pushed it with his shoulder before entering the door.

"Where is Bian Nan?" Dad looked behind him, "Have you two eaten?"

"Eat it," Qiu Yi set up the table and put the porridge in front of his father. "We have eaten meat. We only came in after we finished eating to avoid irritating you."

"He's gone?" Dad picked up the spoon and stirred it in the bowl.

"No, I'm following the outside," Qiu Yi sat down beside the bed and smiled, "What, do you want to talk to him again?"

"I won't chat anymore, that child may be scared by me," my dad sighed, and the spoon kept stirring in the porridge, "I can't eat it if I don't have the appetite."

"The doctor said that you will be given nutritional injections in the afternoon, so you can't eat anything so hard that your body can't bear it." Qiu Yi said.

My father didn't say anything, and the spoon was still stirring back and forth in the porridge. Qiu Yi looked at the spoon, which made him feel a little confused.

It should be very messy.

"Tell me, I've been talking to the doctor for so long." My dad had been disturbing for a long time and finally spoke.

Qiu Yi didn't make a sound, but just reached out to take the spoon away, and then covered the lunch box.

"The bile duct problem is not small, I guess," my dad smiled, "Is it cancer?"

Qiu Yi repeatedly pressed the lid of the lunch box, pressed it for a while, got up and took the lunch box to the table on one side and placed it. He stood with his back to his father, staring at the lunch box without moving.

"I can't sleep all night," my dad said softly, "I guess that's it, nothing."

Qiu Yi closed his eyes, took a breath, and squeezed his hand hard in his pocket several times. He pinched his knuckles so much that he slowly turned around and sat back to the edge of the bed.

"You've been in pain before," Qiu Yi stared at his father, "Why don't you say it all the time?"

"Do you want to scold me?" Dad tickled and smiled, "I don't care anymore. Don't you keep saying that I'm going to die."

"Treating death as if it were, and seeking death are two different things." Qiu Yi said.

"Xiao Yi," my father sighed, "We have conflicts and irreconcilable ones."

Qiu Yi didn't say anything.

"You are a filial child, sensible and responsible," the father looked at him, "I was really proud earlier. Although my old Qiu family... I have a son that no one can compare to. I feel proud when I think about it."

My father grabbed his hand, and Qiu Yi could feel that his father's hand was cold. He had no strength to hold him hard, so he could only tremble very lightly.

"I used to think you worked too hard, but the more I felt something was wrong," my dad stopped and looked at him and continued, "All things, troubles, depressions, will disappear when you come to you. There is no reaction that a normal person should have, and there is nothing angry or bored. This is... abnormal."

"I've finished reacting outside." Qiu Yi frowned.

"Are you fighting?" Dad smiled helplessly, "This is not normal. Fighting needs to be used to relieve emotions, this is not normal."

"So what?" Qiu Yi could almost know what his dad wanted to say.

These words like telling the funeral made him feel ache in his heart, and he couldn't breathe as he whipped and stirred.

"This is our conflict," Dad said slowly, as if thinking, "You want to take care of me and let me live well, and I hope you don't live like this again."

Qiu Yi grabbed his father's hand with his backhand: "You have to live well, how can I live is my business."

"Not energetic," my dad said, "Not energetic, I'm so bored to live like this, it's too uncomfortable... What's the doctor's plan?"

"Surgery or conservative treatment," Qiu Yi said a little hoarsely, "I think the surgery should be done. You are not old..."

"Conservative treatment, it's too late, there's no hope after the operation. The doctor will definitely tell you, don't lie to me," my dad interrupted him, "I can't bear it anymore. You know my lungs are not good now. There's nothing in my stomach that's good. I don't want to bother myself anymore, I'm going to bother you, no, mainly because I don't want to bother myself anymore."

Qiu Yi didn't say anything, his hands trembled violently. From knowing that there was something wrong with his dad's courage to knowing that it was cancer yesterday, all his psychological defenses were cracked a little bit because of his dad's words.

"Look," Dad looked at him, "You look in the mirror. A child of this age knows whether this kind of thing would be your reaction like this? I don't want to do this anymore. I'm annoyed and tired. I miss your mother too."

Qiu Yi suddenly turned his head, stared at the TV on the wall, and held back the tears that were almost gushing out of this moment.

I miss your mother.

This sentence almost made Qiu Yi collapse.

After so many years of hard work, unfairness, and indifference, he just wants his father to live safely and comfortably.

My father's words almost shattered all his persistence.

"It's so uncomfortable. I'm saying these words a little too heavy," my dad patted his hand. "I haven't thought about these things so carefully before. You, your brother, I'm escaping without thinking about it. I just think of your mother when there is no one, and I'll come to General Bian Nan's house..."

Qiu Yi stared at her eyes, and after a while, she turned around and looked at her father.

"I found that Bian Nan's child is quite magical," the father smiled. "You have been with him for a long time and there has been a change. Do you feel it yourself?"

"What's the change?" Qiu Yi spoke, his throat so dry that he almost couldn't make a sound.

"You have become cheerful and talk too much. You can be stupid occasionally," my father said halfway and turned his head and coughed a few times, and then said with a smile, "I suddenly felt that my son should be like this. Children of this age should be like this. You are too...perverted."

"You are perverted." Qiu Yi frowned.

My father smiled for a long time, was silent for a while before he stopped smiling again and said, "Xiao Yi, I'll discuss a serious matter with you."

"Tell me." Qiu Yi looked at him.

"If...if...if I...can't do it in the end," my dad said softly, "Don't delay time. What's so painful about intubation and ventilator, I don't want it."

Qiu Yi didn't say anything.

"Did you hear it?" Dad looked at him.

"No." Qiu Yi stood up. He couldn't accept what his father said to him now, and this is what he still said.

"You can use your rationality in this matter," said my dad.

"No," Qiu Yi looked at him, "No."

Bian Nan couldn't sit on the bench, one was because he was uneasy, and the other was because he was insufficient heating in the corridor, so he felt cold after sitting for a long time.

Qiu Yi entered the ward for more than an hour but didn't come out. He walked from one end to the other in the corridor, and then from the other end to this end. He could not count how many trips he had walked back and forth.

In the middle, he saw a doctor and nurse pushing the instrument and running into a ward. He felt a little panicked.

After waiting for almost half an hour, the door of Qiu's father's ward opened. Qiu Yi walked out with his head down while taking out a cigarette.

"Is your dad okay?" Bian Nan rushed to him.

"Yes," Qiu Yi walked towards the fire escape with a cigarette, "Smoke a cigarette with me."

Biannan followed him into the fire passage, walked down two more floors, and stood by the window.
To be continued...