It was probably the first time he dreamed of a physical education teacher in his dream when he was in junior high school. When he woke up in sweat, he felt scared.

The impulse he had towards men again and again made him realize clearly that he was different from other boys around him, and he also felt deeply disgusted with himself.

The disgust was extremely high.

He even thought about going to see a psychologist secretly, wondering if it was because his mother's death had a great impact on him.

Everyone has secrets that they are unwilling to show to others. Bian Nan's secret is his embarrassing identity and complex family relationships.

And he is the sexual orientation that has made him struggle for many years.

Over the years, even after Shen Tao found out, he said that although he could not accept it, as his best friend, he could understand it, and even Shen Tao "understands", he still could not face such a self.

"Xiao Yi, why are you so little? Grow up quickly? Mom wants to see your wife and your children. She is so anxious."

My mother's smile in the sunshine and her unskilled Chinese seem to be engraved in his heart.

For a long time, he didn't dare to recall it. He thought of any plot related to his mother and would be full of pain because of his sexual orientation.

My mother never asked for anything from him.

"Just be happy if the child is happy, mom will be happy when she sees you laughing." Mom held her cheek and looked at him.

The sudden bad news left my mother with only the joking expectation in the end.

Loving men makes him feel guilty.

"Why?" Bian Nan's voice sounded in his ears.

He withdrew his mind and his eyes that had been staring at the lake were a little astringent. He pressed his eyes and turned his head: "What's the reason?"

"Why... would you like..." Bian Nan cleared his throat, "Me?"

"Because you are stupid enough to bully." Qiu Yi said without thinking.

"Your uncle!" Bian Nan laughed, "I'm serious."

"Why do you like me?" Qiu Yi asked him back.

"Beautiful," Bian Nan raised his thumbs up at him, "You are so beautiful."

Qiu Yi smiled and raised his middle finger at him: "I didn't see that you are so superficial."

"As a visual animal, do you dare say that you noticed me because I'm handsome?" Bian Nan tsk a few times, "I noticed it first, then there will be later."

"Later," Qiu Yi picked up the teapot and poured a cup of tea, "This tea is pretty good."

"Later, I felt that you didn't hate you," Bian Nan thought for a while, "Do you know, the more you hate someone, you will always pay attention. Over time, you know more than ordinary classmates and friends. When you find that this person is not as annoying as you think, it will be... late."

"For example, Pan Yifeng?" Qiu Yi suddenly laughed.

"Damn, that person is more annoying than I imagined!" Bian Nan thought of Pan Yifeng, and now he had the urge to go to the detention center to chop people with a big knife. "I don't have time to ask, what was he stabbed?"

"The injury assessment is light..." Qiu Yi was interrupted by Bian Nan before he finished speaking.

"Wait," Bian Nan took a sip of tea, took another small cake and took a bite, "It's off topic."

"Oh," Qiu Yi looked at him, "What's the point?"

"It's your turn, why?" Bian Nan asked.

Qiu Yi didn't say anything. Bian Nan would be so desperate about "Why do you like me?" Although it didn't fit his seemingly careless personality, Qiu Yi could understand.

Insecure.

Bian Nan just looks careless, careful, sensitive, and perhaps suspicious.

And... don't believe in love.

Such a person suddenly found out that he fell in love with a man.

It is not so easy to calm down and regard "I like a man and this man likes me so coincidentally" as natural.

"So handsome." Qiu Yi thought for a while.

"Fuck, can you not follow my prompt?" Bian Nan ate the cake in one bite.

"I haven't finished talking." Qiu Yi looked at him.

"So," Bian Nan pinched the teacup.

"It's cool to play basketball, it's cool to fight," Qiu Yi said slowly. The memories from the first time I saw Bian Nan flashed quickly in my mind, "The rogue's appearance is also handsome..."

"When did I look like a hooligan? That's Wan Fei. Have you remembered to be trash?" Bian Nan interrupted.

Qiu Yi raised his fingers to his lips: "Don't talk."

"Oh." Bian Nan responded.

"You are kind and your temper is not as bad as others think," Qiu Yi looked at him, "I didn't have any special feelings for you at the beginning. You are so... gentle to your second baby."

"You are jealous," Bian Nan laughed and pointed at him, "To be honest, Erbao is a little girl, maybe you are really fine now."

"Let you not interrupt," Qiu Yi laughed, "I don't know what I want to say... Actually, there is nothing to say. I didn't want to like you at first, but I liked you later. I didn't want to say it at first, but now I say it, that's it."

"Well," Bian Nan looked at him and thought for a while, "It's probably the case. I really can't tell the detailed reason for this kind of thing."

The two continued to drink tea in front of the lake.

"By the way," Bian Nan came back from the toilet and asked for a snack. "My dad wants to treat you to a meal, thank you for the official thank you."

"What do you thank me?" Qiu Yi asked.

"Thank you for the knife for me," Bian Nan felt uncomfortable when he thought of this. He didn't dare to think back in the past two months. "You don't know what it felt when I woke up in the hospital, so I just wanted to ask you in person if you are sick."

"What's there to thank for?" Qiu Yiting said indifferently.

"Then tell my dad. If you don't go, he might come to your house with a gift," Bian Nan tsk, "My dad is just like that, let's say I want to thank you."

"Hmm? You want to thank you too?" Qiu Yi laughed, "You thank you, how can you thank you?"

"Whatever you say," Bian Nan looked at him, and after a while he felt a little uneasy, "Why are you smiling so badly?"

"I've always laughed like this," Qiu Yi smiled, "You don't know what you think in your heart, you can see the problem when you smile."

"Is that right?" Bian Nan stared at him for a while and whispered, "Hey, Qiu Yi."

"Hmm?" Qiu Yi responded.

"I want to kiss you." Bian Nan lowered his voice and leaned towards him.

Qiu Yi turned around and looked at the tea bar room, and quickly kissed Bian Nan's mouth.

Before he could sit upright, Bian Nan had already chased him with the backrest of the chair and kissed him, and he also stuck out his tongue and gently touched the corner of his mouth.

"Do you feel anything?" Bian Nan asked in a low voice.

"Hmm?" Qiu Yi picked up the teacup, "It feels quite comfortable."

"Don't...what else?" Bian Nan asked again.

"Do you want to ask me if I have any reaction?" Qiu Yi glanced at his crotch while drinking tea.

Bian Nan tskated: "Yes, is that?"

"It's strange if there isn't," said Qiu Yi, "this is also asked."

Bian Nan suddenly laughed and put his legs on the railing for a long time.

"Why are you laughing at?" Qiu Yi pinched his hand.

"I just want to laugh for a while. There are too many things happening in this time," Bian Nan raised his hand and looked at the sunlight coming through his fingers. "Do you understand that feeling? I had a night of unhappy dream and suddenly woke up. It was a dream, a dream, just that feeling of sudden relaxed and happy."
Chapter completed!