After a person dies, can he really gain inner peace?

She was puzzled by this.

If that was the previous life, my life would have been a little sad.

In retrospect, there is nothing worth mentioning.

I have been pursuing what I cannot get, but as my understanding of reality gradually grows, I realize that it is an impossible wish, and therefore I feel more and more lost.

When she was a child, if the teacher assigned an essay in class and wrote topics like "My Mom and Dad", she would always write down very seriously and write down one stroke after another:

【My mother is sick and becomes a star in the sky, but she will always watch me grow up in the sky.】

【My father works very hard every day, so it doesn’t matter if he can’t meet frequently, I know my parents love me very much.】

Then this type of article can always gain five-star evaluations from teachers and loving eyes in the office.

It was not until she grew up that she realized that writing essays does not have to expose her true wounds.

As long as you follow the format requirements of the composition topic, try to be more beautiful in the rhetoric, quote a few more famous quotes, and finally sublimate the theme. Even if you make up a random story, no one will pursue it.

Besides that, she understood a lot.

It was as if in just a moment, the world I saw in my eyes was not what it was.

For example, after her mother passed away, she would not become a star in the sky, she just left forever.

For example, the father doesn't meet him often not because he works hard every day, but because he is busy talking about his girlfriend one after another.

From the moment she realized the truth, those innocent and childish understandings were completely shattered in her young heart.

She also slowly became an adult who could hide her wounds well.

My father's business is getting bigger and bigger. Even according to the income level of first-tier cities, his family is undoubtedly a wealthy class.

He has a lot of social engagements every day, and all kinds of friends take turns to entertain banquets, and he has no time to care about himself.

"A thing like a woman, as long as you have money, you will pounce on her~" He always boasted like this at the dinner table. Changing female companions is more diligent than changing into new clothes.

But even in this matter, she has not yet gained benefits.

At least, I don’t have to always face my drunk father, and there are always women around him who can take care of him.

Since I was a child, I attended a private boarding school with high tuition fees, and I didn’t need to spend a lot of time with him. As a father, he just had to give money.

Just as he had no time to care about himself, he had no energy to care about him without realizing it.

Has he ever thought about rebuilding a new family?

unknown.

Although some relatives and friends would also comfort him to remarry in the tone of experienced people for various purposes.

My father would occasionally say to his girlfriends in a deep affectionate way: I always thought I was a wandering wanderer, but after wandering for so long, I was tired. Only after meeting you did I truly realize what it feels like to love someone.

He would even ask himself to have dinner with those women to show that he had the determination to live well with them.

But, useless.

It won't take long before they break up again.

From the beginning, I felt panic and worried, afraid that I would live under the same roof with another person in the future, and whether I had to accept another person as a replacement for the position of "mother".

After that, I became accustomed to it, just sat aside indifferently, without saying a word, and used him as a prop for establishing his character.

However, even a father with such rich love experience is not without a chance to make a mistake.

There was an ex-girlfriend who had been unilaterally broken up by him and he came to the gate of his school to block people.

To this day, she can't even remember the appearance of that woman, only a twisted and ugly face.

“——!”

She shouted her name loudly, rushed up and grabbed her arm tightly, her blood-stained eyes full of crazy expressions.

"Tell your dad if it's okay... I really like him, I don't want to break up with him..."

The woman's face was full of tears and kept crying at her, and her arm was hurting.

The mouth that opened and closed.

It's like a fish that's about to die, exposed to the water.

‘What’s the use of telling me this?’

This was the first thought that came to her mind.

But soon, she reacted.

‘—So, I am also an accomplice.’

Fortunately, I was quickly pulled away by the pick-up driver who found something wrong, which did not cause any worse consequences.

My father was very angry about this.

"It's really a special person. Come with me here?"

The matter was finally solved with money. The woman got a large amount of extra breakup and returned to her hometown and never appeared again.

However, since that time, my father no longer asked him to cooperate with his image as a prodigal son in love.

His life became even more separated from him.

But the troublesome things are far from over.

Perhaps because both parents have excellent genes, she looks like a very beautiful girl.

So some boys are always confused by their appearance and come to like themselves stupidly.

It would be fine if you just get along with classmates, but once you realize that the other person wants to pursue you, you will feel extremely disgusted uncontrollably.

She found that she had no way to accept anyone's feelings.

As soon as I hear those sweet words that the boys think are very touching, my father's "deep love" will inevitably appear in my mind.

In front of you, two different faces overlapped, saying greasy love words that were exactly the same.

It made her physically nauseous.

Because of this kind of knot that cannot be found to be untied from others, all the boys who confessed to her were rejected by her as "I just want to study hard."

It may not be their fault to like yourself...but it is not their fault to be able to fall in love with anyone.

How should we give things that we don’t even have to others?

With the idea of ​​wanting to support herself without relying on her father, she studied hard and was admitted to a good university in another place.

In order to make her study more convenient, she signed up for accommodation like her classmates.

But there are only more ways to confess in college.

Even though she had said to almost everyone around her, "I just want to study and not fall in love", the boys still didn't hear it and rushed forward one by one.

They would forcibly send flowers to her in the name of "surprise", place candlelights and love in the underside of the dormitory building, and give them their favorite large dolls.

Then he stood among the eyes of a bunch of people, waiting for him to go out and act with them.

She refused to confess in anger, threw all the flowers and threw the gift to the ground in person.

No one can understand her pain.

Regardless of men and women, they just watch the excitement while making a fuss.

"Where is a girl who doesn't want to fall in love? It's just that you haven't licked it yet." They ridiculed the person who failed to confess their love with satisfaction.

——Where is a woman who doesn’t like money? It’s just that you don’t give enough.

She was tired of these remarks.

Under all kinds of gossip inside and outside the dormitory, she asked her father to pay for a house near the school and moved out.

After working hard to clean everything, she stayed in an empty house where she was the only one, locked the door, drank a lot of wine for the first time, and wanted to get herself drunk completely.

On the notebook screen next to it, there was an animation used to pass the time, "Chriss, the Daughter of the Evil Guard".

As she watched, she was really attracted by this story.

"...Although the plot is neither logical nor Mary Sue, but... if there is really such a world, you will definitely be happy every day..."

Every day, I make trouble everywhere without any heart, and with the infinite love of my parents, the family lives happily together...

If I could have these...how great would it be...

Thinking of this, she lay on the table and completely lost consciousness.

"Chris...Chris..."

I heard a familiar voice.

"Get up soon~ I'm going to school today!"

The sound of pulling the curtains sounded in my ears, and a dazzling beam of light came into my eyes.

"Um..." She covered her head and arched the quilt like a caterpillar.
To be continued...