"That's ridiculous." Zhuang Ni dismissed Xiao Qin's defense, "Even if it's true that Marilyn Monroe had extra toes and that she couldn't take out incandescent light bulbs when she put them in her mouth, hippos are the second most murderous people in the world. Even animals cannot stand."

“There is no dispute that mosquitoes are the most deadly animal because they can transmit malaria, which kills more than one million humans every year. By the same token, the tsetse fly that infects African sleeping sickness is the second most deadly animal. This disease kills close to 100,000 people every year..."

"Wow." Xiaoqin lowered her voice and said to me, "This kind of fly named Caicai is really ferocious. It can actually kill 100,000 people every year. It seems that Alin must be careful to keep a distance from Gong Caicai. ah."

That's enough. The word "cai" in tsetse fly is not the same as the word "cai" in Gong Caicai. The scientific name of tsetse fly is "tsetse fly", which is also translated as "sting fly". It is a very ugly and cruel species. Blood-sucking flies are not even remotely similar to Gong Caicai, okay?

Zhuang Ni went on to state: "Snakes and scorpions rank third and fourth in terms of the number of killers, killing 50,000 and 5,000 people respectively every year. Then it is the turn of hippos. Hippos seem docile but are easily angered. Every year, they kill 50,000 people and 5,000 people respectively. No less than three thousand people were killed by hippos..."

I have to admit that Zhuang Ni has a wealth of knowledge and relatively accurate data. Most of the 3,000 people killed by hippos every year are black uncles in Africa. Last year, an unfortunate Chinese female tourist was bitten to death by a hippo in Kenya. The reason It was when she took pictures of the baby hippopotamus that she offended the mother hippopotamus.

"There is a loophole." Xiao Qin raised her hand and said, "Malaria and sleeping sickness kill a lot of people. Doesn't the plague kill a lot of people? Why not put rats first?"

The squad leader, who didn't like black rats, frowned slightly, probably because he had a horrifying scene in his mind of black rats galloping past.

Zhuang Ni replied without hesitation: "The main transmission object of the plague is fleas on rats. Therefore, although the plague kills a large number of humans, rats and fleas cannot take credit alone. They must be eliminated from the entire ranking. I added rat fleas to the rankings, and hippopotamuses cannot be ranked second anyway. Your argument is wrong, so Ye Lin must be sentenced to death."

Where is this going? Why should I be executed if Hippo doesn’t win the second place in murder? The trial logic of the mock court is completely broken, okay?

Because I had told Xiaoqin all the trivia including the hippopotamus before, in order to protect my own face, I answered now: "The defender's arguments are not wrong, but there are some minor flaws in the use of language. She originally wanted to What it says is: The second animal that directly kills humans without relying on germs or toxins is the hippopotamus.”

"Yes, yes." Xiao Qin hurriedly agreed, "That's what I wanted to say. I missed it because I was nervous."

Zhuang Ni sneered and reminded us: "According to your rules, the hippopotamus should be the animal that kills the most humans, because you have eliminated the mosquitoes that spread the disease, haven't you?"

"This..." Xiaoqin was speechless, and I put forward the argument I had prepared: "It was a slip of the tongue that I put mosquitoes first. In fact, the animal that directly kills the most humans is nothing else. It’s humans themselves, do you want to deny that humans are a type of animal?”

"Master said it well." Eunuch Cao applauded in the audience, "His counterattack is well-founded and convincing. Master is the well-deserved best debater in this debate competition."

"This is not an animal-themed debate at all." Jiang Qian snorted, "Shouldn't the court debate focus on the guilt or innocence of the suspect?"

Jiang Qian's three prospective boyfriends also said:

"Yes, the hippopotamus has nothing to do with this case. The defender used the hippopotamus as an argument just to delay time."

"Yes, even if Ye Lin rode a hippopotamus during the robbery, it still doesn't prove his innocence."

"I agree. Even if Ye Lin is a hippopotamus himself, he will still be legally responsible for robbing other people's property."

Xiao Qin seemed to have received some inspiration and said to herself: "Because Ah Lin is so lustful, his nostrils are getting bigger and bigger. If this continues, there is really a danger of becoming a hippopotamus..."

Who is a hippopotamus? Isn't it enough to give me the nickname "Wild Ass"?

Zhuang Ni lightly tapped the blackboard eraser that served as a gavel.

"The defender's sophistry is simply unfounded. The defendant Ye Lin used violent coercion to rob students outside No. 28 Middle School for the purpose of illegal possession. The consequences of causing minor injuries to the victim during the robbery were serious in nature and complied with Article 263 of the Criminal Law. Article 263 constitutes the crime of robbery. Article 263 of the Criminal Law of the People's Republic of China stipulates that anyone who robs public or private property by violence, coercion or other methods shall be sentenced to fixed-term imprisonment of not less than three years but not more than ten years, and shall also be fined; in any of the following circumstances: Those who commit crimes shall be sentenced to fixed-term imprisonment of not less than ten years, life imprisonment or death, and shall also be fined or have their property confiscated: (1) Robbery at home; (2) Robbery on public transportation; (3) Robbery of banks or other financial institutions ; (4) Multiple robberies or huge amounts of robbery; (5) Robbery causing serious injury or death; (6) Someone named Ye Lin..."

Hey, what's going on in Article 6? Why am I being sentenced to severe punishment just because I have this name? This version of the "Criminal Law of the People's Republic of China" was edited by you, Zhuang Ni, right?

"There is nothing we can do." Xiao Qin interrupted Zhuang Ni's sentencing by patting the table, as if the protagonist in a Japanese comic was about to transform, "I suspect that the deputy chief judge is mentally disturbed like the chief judge. He probably came from Dongshan. Those who escaped from the mental hospital must pass the test I proposed to prove that you are not mentally ill."

"What test?" Zhuang Ni looked at Xiaoqin curiously, because Xiaoqin and others had recently celebrated her birthday, and she had extra tolerance for everyone.

Xiao Qin pointed at the blackboard with her hand, "I suspect that there is something wrong with the cognitive area of ​​the deputy judge's brain. She may not be able to distinguish the difference between living things and non-living things at all. Although she just talked about a lot of animals with great rhetoric, I think She has no real concept of these animals. For example, she can only pronounce the word hippopotamus, but she has no idea what a hippopotamus is. If you don't admit this, just draw a hippopotamus on the blackboard. Everyone, take a look."

Xiaoqin's unreasonableness reached a new level, causing some people below who knew Zhuang Ni to burst into laughter.

It’s true that Zhuang Ni’s painting skills are very good, but she likes to depict melancholic girls, Gothic landscapes and abyss-like starry skies. She rarely depicts animals, especially hippopotamuses, which are extremely lacking in the beauty of lilies, which makes Zhuang Ni It was definitely difficult for Ni to draw a hippopotamus on the blackboard.

But Zhuang Ni had to fight Xiao Qin to the end today. She stood up gracefully, picked up a piece of chalk from the chalk box when she stepped onto the podium table, and started to draw a realistic style hippopotamus on the blackboard like a master.

With just a few strokes, the hippopotamus' head and two cute little ears popped out, leaving the audience in awe.

"There are still ten minutes left." The monitor warned as she looked at the wall clock above the blackboard. She also understood that the free-flowing mock court drama was completely out of control, and she could only pray that this farce would end soon.

"Slow, wait." Seeing Zhuang Ni start to draw the hippopotamus, Xiao Qin jumped anxiously, "I want to compete with the deputy presiding judge. I also want to go up and draw the hippopotamus. If I can draw better than the deputy presiding judge, I should be judged. Ah Lin is not guilty."

Which country would have such a weird defense of innocence? If guilt and innocence are determined by painting skills, then wouldn’t Leonardo da Vinci, Van Gogh and the like become rampant?

Without waiting for the court's approval, Xiao Qin jumped up on the podium table, picked up a piece of colored chalk and began to draw a cartoon-style hippopotamus on the left side of Zhuang Ni. Because she started writing too hastily, the sound of the chalk rubbing against the blackboard made many students frown and cover their faces. ears.

Hey, Xiaoqin's painting skills have improved a lot. Although the lines of this hippopotamus are childish, you can barely tell that it is an animal, and it is no longer a pure combination of potatoes and eggplants.

But why is this hippopotamus so thin? Is he sick? His ears are also unexpectedly long. Xiao Qin furiously wiped them on the blackboard twice before shortening his ears to normal length...

Xiong Yaoyue couldn't help complaining: "Is this a hippopotamus? Why does it look a bit like a donkey?"

I think it was really a donkey. Xiaoqin drew the donkey's ears short, then made the nostrils bigger, and abruptly changed a donkey into a hippopotamus. Whenever she couldn't draw, she would look back and look at it. Me, think of me as a sketch model.

In your eyes, am I a real wild ass, and am the hippopotamus my short-eared, lustful and fat version? If there wasn't a table in front of me, I would definitely overturn it.

Under the laughter of the whole class, Zhuang Ni temporarily stopped writing and glanced at Xiao Qin. When she realized that Xiao Qin was copying me, the corners of her mouth involuntarily curled up.

"Look at what you are looking at." Xiaoqin was not satisfied with her painting, so she used the blackboard eraser to correct it over and over again. The hippopotamus she painted that resembled a donkey was already in the style of Picasso.

“Bang, bang, bang, bang, bang,”

Just when everyone was looking forward to the next stage of the absurd trial in which the winner was determined by painting, the table in the classroom suddenly vibrated, and a lot of dust fell from the fluorescent lamp on the ceiling.

The squad leader reacted immediately: "It's an earthquake. Everyone, protect your heads and don't move. There is no precedent for a major earthquake in Dongshan City. It should pass soon."

Just like the squad leader said, the shaking only lasted for five and six seconds before disappearing completely. But just as everyone breathed a sigh of relief, the heavy blackboard over one meter high and three meters long above the podium table made an ominous creak. There was a loud sound, and then the mountain crashed down like a mountain.

Come on, being hit by a blackboard is not fun. When my dad was lecturing in college, the blackboard accidentally fell. The female teacher who was giving the lecture was hit directly on the desk and her three front teeth were smashed. Lost it, now Xiaoqin and Zhuang Ni are in the same danger.

My body rushed to rescue me like a tiger descending the mountain, but I knew in my heart that it was already too late. There was a trial bench made up of desks between me and the podium. Before I could get close, Xiao Qin and Zhuang Ni would be hit by the blackboard.
Chapter completed!