"...It's impossible, I can't do it at all...I'm obviously trying to save them, but no one believes me..."

How many times she was near death, she cried and shouted these words, ushering in the next reincarnation.

Her identity as a pagan became the root of her inability to break the situation.

"Death to the infidels!"

"You have to die and come back again? Only a ghost will believe you. Even if you do, it's just your pagan's dirty ability!"

"Sissi, if you have any idea, find a place to die and don't be an eyesore here. The aura of Jiu Shen on your body really makes me sick."

"..."

She has seen too many tragedies.

Every time she heard such words, she felt like she had been stabbed hard.

Everyone is looking forward to her death.

But no one knew that her death would be of no use at all.

The only way to prove what she said is if she dies, but once she dies, the meaning of proof will be gone.

How many times did she want to cry.

Why

Why did she lose so many lives, only to gain an unbreakable cycle?

Why is she still alive and saved to this day, but can only be despised and puzzled by people?

Why, why can't everyone give her a little more opportunity and time to explain?

Why……

Her memory became blurry as she died repeatedly.

Her sanity was repeatedly tortured by alienation and curses.

Reincarnation will not change her mental state. Her memory has been completely confused as she dies again and again.

All kinds of death, even alienation... made her become more and more crazy and confused.

Reincarnation is not her lucky right, but a curse and torture that prevents her from abandoning her responsibilities.

Gradually, she will forget who she is, what she is living for, and what truth she is trying to uncover to survive.

She forgot her name and all the information she had obtained. Her memory was blocked for self-protection, and the huge fragments of death memories were driving her crazy.

There were two times when she thought, it would be better not to open her eyes or wake up, and just let her sleep in that wooden house on the first day.

Five times, she thought, just forget everything. She was Sissi, not Sibor, not the only disciple of the oldest god.

There were ten times when she would cry bitterly to those corpses and say I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

She was on the verge of collapse, looking crazy, like a frightened animal, a lonely and alert wolf.

As a person in the game, she can't break this deadlock at all.

"If only someone would save me," she thought.

As long as someone is willing to stand by her side, give her warmth, even if he just believes in her a little bit...

As long as someone can give her a hug when she is feeling cold all over, as long as someone can tell her that she can still see the sun and the sea...

She once thought that she would not wait until that day.

But this time, someone who had never appeared before suddenly appeared beside her.

...He has black hair and black eyes.

...He has a bright mind and the wisdom to adapt to changing situations.

... He cares about the feelings of his companions, regardless of the loss of one or the other.

...He can tell stories and play musical instruments...

The words she wrote on the wall when she was a child actually came into effect with the authority of her faith.

When her memory was blurred and confused, the person she had always fantasized about suddenly came to her in this reincarnation.

He told her that he would always be with her.

He said that if he were a tourist who strayed into the endless night, she would be his lighthouse.

He said that she was the most important and unique.

He said,

He will let her see the flowers bloom.

…

In this realm of fabricated beliefs.

...They are the only pair of "sane" lambs.

…

[Under the sky, all things are resurrected. The forgotten ones take the form of ‘monsters’ in an attempt to rival the gods. 】

[The adventurer in front of her suddenly seems to be the most suitable person for her. 】

【This time,】

【Refuse to betray, prohibit abandonment.】

[She wants to become a ‘god’ among ‘monsters’.]

…

【This time.】

…

this time,

She fell into a hallucination midway, poison rain entered her body, and she could not be saved. Chief Feng even chose to maintain the scam and did not believe her.

She failed again.

She pointed the gun at her heart.

"Bang!"

The gunshot sounded, and her hand suddenly tilted.

When she opened her eyes, she saw that familiar figure again.

His dark eyes stared into hers as if tracing them, and there was a loneliness in them that was very similar to hers.

He was holding the barrel of the gun in his hand, and a white light of spatial displacement was emitting around him.

The moment he realized that Siboer was about to commit suicide, he moved over instantly and deflected her gun.

"...What are you going to do?" Su Mingan said.

Black tentacles emerged instantly, and she immediately tried to push him away, but it was as difficult as tearing flesh and blood.

His hands held her shoulders tightly, and the warmth of his hands made her whole body ache.

At this moment, she suddenly collapsed.

The thick wall in his heart was shattered in an instant, and he was the only one who didn't want her to die.

"Su Ming'an, I really want to die. I want to die. Please kill me. Please kill me. Don't let me wake up again!"

She howled loudly.

It hurts, it hurts, it hurts.

The skin is melting, the blood is boiling, and the bones are melting.

The continuous rain curtain hit her scalp and tore her skin, she was like a withered bone connected to the skin and flesh.

Why do people regard her as evil? Why do they despise her? Why don't they give her the right to speak? Why don't they even give her a chance to escape reincarnation?

At first, she had good intentions, and she treated every nation around her kindly, but she always ended up with endless betrayal and cold death.

No one believed her, no one understood her, even if there was only one helping hand, she would not have reached the point where she is now living with madness.

She was tired and didn’t want to go on. She wanted to die, so badly. Why wasn’t she even given the right to die?

What did she do wrong?

What did she do wrong?

She had already begun to fear this kind of life that would "pass away soon". She hoped that the disaster and pain would end here and that all people would be happy.

However, in this world, she cannot even protect herself.

Just "living" made her feel doubly miserable.

"It hurts." She choked out a mouthful of blood.
To be continued...